


By Any Other Name

by missparker



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-20
Updated: 2010-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-07 10:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missparker/pseuds/missparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rebuilding the Council is one thing. Rebuilding the relationship, another thing entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written October 2007.

_"She had that spontaneous quality of aliveness which illuminates people who have already done a lot of their dying, and I think I am beginning to understand the truth of that."_ \- Madeleine L'Engle

*

The first time Buffy came to London to visit Giles, not on business, was the first time they went drinking together. He knew better, of course, than to feed a Slayer anything alcoholic. Buffy metabolized things so quickly that alcohol went straight to her head but she'd wanted an authentic London experience and there was nothing more authentic than a dirty English pub.

"You sure?" Giles asked, holding the door open for her as they entered the darkened pub. It was near his flat and never too crowded. He came sometimes after work for a pint, usually alone.

"Oh yeah," she said. "I need to have some drinking experiences that don't end with death and kittens."

"I don't see why they can't bloody use sterling like everybody else," he muttered, nodding his head at the bartender who recognized him. He led them to a small table near the back, a table where they had their backs to the wall and could see anyone who entered.

"See? That's what I said," she exclaimed. "Poor kitties."

"Well, let's not get completely pissed," he said in his best _I'm-your-Watcher-and-you'd-do-well-to-listen_ voice. She rolled her eyes.

"Deal," she said. "You set the pace."

He went to the bar and ordered two pints for them.

"Bit early for you mate," he said, handing the glasses over.

"Here with a friend," he said.

"So I see," the bartender said with a wink. He chose not to acknowledge their relationship to the man and returned to the table. Buffy tried her lager and didn't spit it out or make a face so he considered it a success.

"Foamy," she said, which seemed to be an observation, not a complaint.

"I'm sorry Dawn couldn't come with you this trip," Giles said.

"Oh, she's all into school right now," Buffy said, shrugging. "Besides, she thought I could use a vacation."

"Is that what this is?" he asked. "A vacation?"

"Sure," she said. "No Slayer business, no council missions or need to see the coven in Devon. Just a girl going to London to see about a man." He smiled at her. "That's okay right? That I came to see you?"

"It's perfect," he assured her. "I'm just surprised. You could go anywhere in the world."

"I have gone anywhere in the world. I've been all over collecting Slayers and setting up networks and fighting evil and frankly, I'm tired. All I wanted to do was come home to you for a while," she said honestly. Giles, not trusting his voice at the moment, took a deep pull from his pint. "Dawn does say hi," she added.

"Ahh, yes," he said, finally. "I owe her a letter."

"There is such a thing as e-mail," she teased him.

"Not as satisfying as getting something in the post, I'm afraid," he said.

"It's cheaper, though," she argued.

"Well, it turns out being the head of an international magical council pays fairly well," he said with a grin.

"I can't complain," she said, clinking her glass to his. They shared two more, catching up on old times. Buffy told him about seeing Willow in South America where she'd gone to find three new Slayers.

"She was talking about Oz a lot," Buffy admitted. "It was sort of weird. Once he left and she met Tara… she didn't… and then Kennedy." Buffy shrugged.

"Maybe she has finally healed enough to want him back in her life again," Giles offered, helping her put her coat on. Outside, it had begun to drizzle.

"Maybe," Buffy said. "I always liked Oz."

"Me too," Giles said. "He was always a lot calmer than you lot."

"I was calm," Buffy argued, smacking him a little too hard on his arm. It made him stumble a bit. "Sorry."

"You were many things Buffy, but rarely calm," he said. "Do you want to wait out the storm?"

"Nah," she said. "It's not even raining that hard."

They exited the pub into the early evening, though the sun was already well into setting. It would be dark soon. They both had stakes and London now had a high population of Slayers, but Giles would never shake the feeling that with darkness came danger. He walked closer to Buffy, so their arms brushed with each step.

"You all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just feel all warm and happy."

"Good," he said. "That's the point."

They started the walk back to her hotel amiably. He'd offered to let her stay with him but his apartment was small and his guestroom currently held books and no bed so she'd declined politely. The hotel wasn't far, though. She'd come for a full week – he had picked her up from Heathrow only yesterday. It was a luxury, this time with her.

"I'm the brawn," she said. "Shouldn't I be walking you home?"

"I'm a gentleman," he said. "Though I appreciate the implication of me being too weak to fend for myself."

"Don't abuse sarcasm," she chastised. "I know you can take care of yourself."

"It is better with you here," he offered. "In any case."

It was then that the skies opened. The water began to pour down, soaking them almost immediately. Giles grabbed her elbow and pulled her under an overhang to try to get out of the worst of it.

"Sheesh," Buffy said, squeezing out the ends of her hair. "Thanks for the warning, nature."

"Sorry," Giles apologized but she smiled.

"Not your fault. It's just water, after all."

"It's cold," he commented. "Too cold to keep walking." Buffy turned to look at the shop they'd stopped in front of and was surprised to see it was a tattoo parlor.

"Maybe we can wait it out inside," she suggested. He looked over her shoulder.

"I don't think we seem like the type," he said, dryly.

"If they only knew," she said softly. "Let's go in."

"Buffy," he said, starting to argue.

"I've been thinking about getting one for a while now," she said. "It can't hurt to look."

"Tattoos are awfully permanent," he said, but she was already pushing the door open. He had no choice to follow or to stand alone in the cold. Distantly, he could hear the buzzing of needles from the backroom but the front was empty. There were a few plastic chairs, and several framed pictures of tattoo art on the walls. Most were predictable – tribal designs, skulls, dragons with flames shooting from their mouths. Buffy walked the perimeter of the walls, looking closely at each design.

"What do you think?" she asked him.

"I think you've already had one tattoo removed," he said. She rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously.

"Well that wasn't exactly my choice," she said. "I was sort of forced to get it removed by my extremely irate mother."

"You wanted to keep it?" he asked. "After what Ethan did to you?"

"Well, I didn't exactly want to start worshiping chaos, but at least we would have matched," she said, reaching out and touching his forearm where is own tattoo still remained. He'd never gotten it removed either – it served to remind him not to take the wrong path again.

"Matched," he snorted. "Silly girl."

"My life changes so much," she said, looking at him contemplatively. "Maybe something permanent would be nice."

"Well, I'm not your father. If you want one, get one," he said. She grinned.

"I think I will." He was surprised – he thought reverse psychology might have worked in this case.

"But you haven't even had time to consider it properly!" he exclaimed.

"I'm being spontaneous. Live a little, Giles," she said, and rang the bell at the counter. A woman appeared, heavily tattooed herself.

"Wotcher," she said, sounding quite bored.

"Do you have time to give me a tattoo?" Buffy asked. The lady looked past Buffy at Giles who just shrugged as if to say, 'I can't control her.'

"Nigel's free," the lady muttered. "Do you know what you want?"

"Yeah, really easy," Buffy said. "Giles, wait here."

"What?" he asked. He didn't want her to go in there without him, into that seedy back room where anything could happen.

"It's a surprise," she promised. "Read a magazine."

He sat down with an audible mutter, letting her know that he most emphatically did not approve.

After ten minutes, he started to listen hard to see if he could hear her – any Buffy shrieks of pain but it was only that dull drone of the tattoo gun and indistinct voices. He checked his watch. It was dark out now, and the florescent lights in the waiting room were hurting his eyes. He still couldn't believe that Buffy was back there getting inked while he waited like her grandfather in the waiting room. He was actually kind of irritated. The warm, comfortable feeling he'd had with her in the pub and on the street was dissipating rapidly. After 25 minutes he heard her voice and soon the door opened. He stood, and she smiled widely at him.

"Well let's see it," he muttered. She stuck her hand out and he saw a small white square of gauze on her wrist.

"What is it?" he asked but she waved him away and turned to the counter to pay for her purchase. Finally, she was through.

"Look, the rain has let up," she said. "Let's make a mad dash for the hotel."

"You aren't going to show me?" he asked.

"I am," she promised. "When we can see it in proper light and where it won't get wet." He followed her out onto the street and she kept up a quick pace through the drizzle all the way into the hotel lobby. The hotel was old and though there was a lift, it was slow and so they took the stairs. Three flights was nothing for her, but he couldn't bound up them in the same way. Finally, she unlocked her door and let them inside. She started taking off her wet layers.

"Take off your coat," she said. "It's damp."

"Buffy," he said. "I can't believe you went in there without me."

"I wanted to surprise you," she said. She started turning on lamps to light the small room. Her bed was made and in one corner was her suitcase. He could see into the bathroom where the counter was littered with her products.

"Did it hurt?" he asked. He remembered the pain, but it had been mixed with magic and pleasure.

"A bit," she said. "Yes, a lot actually but I think being a Slayer took the edge off."

He'd noticed her saying that – calling herself 'a' Slayer instead of 'the' Slayer. He thought that maybe it was a good thing, a healthy thing.

"The wait is killing me," he said, and she sat down on the bed, patting the space next to her. He sat down gingerly. She held out her right hand and he looked at the white gauze again. It wasn't very big, just the width of her tiny wrist. So much power in such a small package. She started easing off the tape.

"I hope you like it," she said, and pulled off the bandage quick like a band-aid. He gasped.

"You…" he said, grabbing her fingers and dragging them closer to the light source. She let out an 'oof' and was leaning awkwardly across his knees but he didn't notice. "I can't believe you did this!" Her face fell.

"You don't like it?" she asked. "I thought…"

"I love it," he said.

On her wrist, in tiny, scrolling script was the word _Giles_. She'd tattooed his name on her wrist.

"This way you're always with me," she said, smiling, relieved that he'd liked it. "You're my something permanent. No matter what happens, I know you're always on my side."

"That's right," he murmured and pulled her into a tight hug. She hugged him back, letting her head rest briefly on his shoulder.

"And if anyone asks, I can say that I got this the time we went drinking together," she joked.

"Ahh yes, a drunken regret," he said.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Never any regrets."

He kissed her cheek.

"Thank you."

oooo

Buffy and Dawn had invited him to Italy for the Easter holiday and since he hadn't seen Buffy since she'd last been to London, he accepted immediately.

"You can stay with us," Dawn told him over the phone. "We fixed up the spare room last summer. It's nice."

"Only if you're sure I won't put you out," Giles said.

"We're sure. Besides, Buffy's totally excited about playing hostess. All she can talk about is Giles this and Giles that. When Giles comes, and on and on," Dawn said. "But it's nice. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Too long," he agreed. "I'll look forward to it."

He knew it would be nice to get out of London – to get out of England. Rebuilding the council wasn't easy – he hadn't expected it to be, but after two years it was beginning to come together. He hadn't had to face an apocalypse in over a year and it was a nice feeling – the world not constantly trying to end. He was rediscovering what it was like to have a life, one that wasn't located just above the mouth of hell.

Often times, he wished that Buffy didn't have to live so far away. When Dawn graduated from college, he would offer her admission to the Watcher program and he thought that if she accepted, he might be able to entice she and Buffy to relocate to London but that was at least two years away yet, and until then he'd have to be content to bi-annual visits, postcards, and phone calls. Besides, it wasn't as if Buffy was wasting her days. She traveled a lot for the Council and there was plenty of demonic activity to contend with in Rome – all ancient cities always had a high demon population.

Giles was surprised to see that Dawn alone picked him up from the airport.

"Buffy was held up," she explained, helping him put his suitcase into her small trunk. He'd never been anywhere with Dawn behind the wheel before and he was a little nervous, especially if she drove like the locals. "She wanted to be here, but two injured Slayers showed up on our doorstep last night."

"Are they all right?" Giles asked. Dawn shrugged.

"I think so. It was pretty bloody though and they were young. She didn't want to leave them alone so she sent me." Dawn smiled as if seeing him for the first time and launched herself into his arms. "I missed you!" He dropped a kiss on the crown of her head.

"It's so lovely to see you," he said. "You look simply smashing." She blushed and they climbed into the car which she pulled out like a local, with no heed to the traffic around her. He braced himself. "How are your studies?"

"Fine," she said. "My Italian is way better than Buffy's, that's for sure. I don't know why she stays here. I'm always translating for her. She needs to live somewhere they speak English."

"Well, she always has a home in England," he said.

"Yeah, I heard about you and her in England. I think there were drunken adventures to a tattoo parlor if I recall correctly," she teased.

"I was not drunk," he said. "And that was all her idea."

"I think it's sweet," Dawn said, pressing her foot down on the accelerator. Giles took off his glasses to clean them on his shirt. If he was about to meet his death, there was no reason to see it clearly. "She's so excited to see you Giles, it's crazy. She's been jumping around for days going, 'GILES' at the top of her lungs."

"Really?" he asked, slipping his glasses onto his face while they were at a red light. The city really was beautiful and he craned his neck to try to see it all at once.

"I know she's crappy at the whole communication thing, but she misses you," Dawn said. "She misses all her scoobies."

"It's hard to be apart after so long together," he commented.

"I'll say. I miss Xander," she said. "We invited him, too, but he's either in Australia or Africa right now. I can't keep track."

They chatted all the way back to the small house Dawn shared with her sister. Giles was never so happy to be out of a car in all his life, and he'd driven with Buffy before, so it was saying something. The house was surrounded by a tall fence and had a lovely little garden out front. It was far enough from the heart of the city to be off the beaten path.

"How lovely," he said. Suddenly the door burst open and Buffy appeared with a huge grin.

"AH!" she cried. "MY WATCHER IS HERE!" He couldn't help but grin just as widely at her enthusiasm. She ran down the path, threw open the gate, and launched herself into his arms.

"Hello, love," he said, laughing. "How very good to see you."

"Yay, you're finally here! And Dawn didn't kill you with her psycho driving!" she said into his chest.

"Hey!" Dawn said, opening the trunk and pulling his suitcase out. "I'm right here."

"It was a close call," he whispered theatrically. Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Come in, come in," Buffy said, taking the heavy suitcase with ease and ushering them all inside. "Did Dawn tell you about the unexpected guests?"

"She did. How are they doing?" he asked.

"Better," she said. "We got them all patched."

"Well, I hope I'm not imposing. I still can get a hotel room if there isn't space."

"Nonsense," she said. "You can have my room. I'll just share with Dawn."

"Buffy," he said. "It's quite all right…"

"No," she said, firmly. "Plus, Dawn probably won't even be here because she's always with _Francisco_." She drew out the name in a sing-song voice and Dawn shot her a dirty look.

"Shut up," she said.

"Francisco?" Giles asked in a stern voice.

"My boyfriend," Dawn said, rolling her eyes. "At least he has a pulse."

"Shut up," Buffy snapped and Dawn smiled smugly.

"Nice to see some things never change," Giles said.

"Anyway, you must be hungry. Let's get you all settled and then we'll worry about lunch," Buffy said. "My room is upstairs."

He followed her up a narrow staircase and she pushed open a bedroom door. It wasn't anything like her bedroom back in Sunnydale. Her bed was at least a Queen with a dark, wood frame. The walls were painted a luscious red – it was very warm and didn't overpower the room because of the large picture window that let in plenty of sunlight with the soft, gauzy curtains. She had a big, gilded mirror on one wall a matching vanity. Over her headboard was a large cross.

"Nice," he said. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

"Giles I'm so happy you're here," she gushed. "Would you like to freshen up before we go?"

"Please," he said.

"Bathroom is right through there. I'll be downstairs and I'll introduce you to the newbies if they're awake." He watched her descend the stairs feeling as if his heart might burst. Alone in her room, he set down his suitcase and took of his jacket. It had been cool in England but here the sun was already shining and warm. His shirt was a little rumpled and normally he'd roll up his sleeves to try to hide the wrinkles but he resisted. On his left wrist, he'd gotten _Buffy_ tattooed at the same shop in the same delicate scrolling font and he didn't want to show her right away. He wanted to surprise her when the time was right.

Downstairs, Dawn was putting books into a bag in the kitchen. Buffy was leaning against the counter watching her.

"Just skip," Buffy was whining.

"No!" Dawn said. "I have to go to class!"

"But Giles!" Buffy said.

"I'll be here all week," Giles said. "Buffy, I cannot believe you're encouraging Dawn to skip school!" Buffy turned to look at him.

"She's like a super genius, she can miss one class to hang out with us," Buffy said. Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Buffy logic," Dawn supplied. "I'll be home for dinner."

"Bring Francisco," Giles said and Buffy nodded.

"Bye guys," Dawn said and ran out the door before anyone else could mention her boyfriend.

"Oh well," Buffy said.

"How is Francisco?" Giles asked.

"Oh, totally great. I just like to give her a hard time," Buffy said. "Want to meet the other girls? I told them they were coming and they got all wide-eyed."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you're my Watcher!" she said. "Instant celebrity status."

"All right," he said, disinclined to argue with her. She led him down the hall and knocked lightly on a closed door. She didn't wait for a response before she opened the door a crack and stuck her head in. "Up for a visitor?" She pushed the door open all the way so she and Giles could enter the room. The two girls were in bed together, looking up groggily. Both were heavily bandaged and looked a little worse for the wear. Both were frightfully young as well – a good deal of the new Slayers were in their late teens but these girls looked fifteen at most.

"This is Carmen and Alexandria," Buffy said, indicating which name went with which girl.

"How do you do?" Giles asked, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"You're Dr. Giles!" said Carmen in a heavy Spanish accent.

"Just Giles," he said.

"I read about you," Carmen said. "About how you lived on the hellmouth with Miss Summers."

"Just Buffy," Buffy said, wrinkling her nose. "Giles is my Watcher."

"What happened to you?" Giles asked.

"Demon," Alexandria said softly. "We couldn't… I wasn't strong enough to…"

"It's all right," he said. "What's important is that you got away with your life."

"I'm going to patrol tonight," Buffy said. "See if I can't track it down."

"Demon hunting," Giles said dryly. "Wouldn't be a vacation without it."

"No rest for the weary," Buffy agreed. "All right munchkins – we're going out. Rest up and help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen."

"Are you sure it's all right to leave them alone?" Giles asked, worriedly. If they were attacked, they were in no form to fight.

"Willow put the whammy on the house. It's safe," Buffy said. "And I'm hungry, so let's roll." He was hungry as well so he followed her down the steps and out into the yard.

"Walking?" he asked.

"Not exactly," she said, pulling open the door to the shed. Inside was a Vespa with a couple helmets hanging from the handle bars. "Does it offend your masculinity if you ride behind me?"

"I think I'm secure enough to manage," he said, catching the helmet she tossed to him.

"You know how I am with cars. This is much easier to navigate," she explained, climbing on. He got on carefully behind her, making sure his weight was centered before relaxing a little. He was pressed against her back and he took the opportunity to give her a little hug. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. "Giles," she said happily. "Can't you stay forever?"

"One day at a time," he said with a sternness that wasn't real.

"I have a favorite café," she said, turning the machine on and pulling out into the street. He had to hold on to her and put his hands on her waist to keep upright. She tried to drive as safely as possible as not to scare him. Luckily, the café was nearby and though it was nice to sit close to her and to hang on, he wasn't sad to get off.

They secured the vehicle and sat down in the afternoon sun. She seemed warm, tan, and happy to see him. He smiled at her, feeling a little bashful under her constant gaze.

"It's nice to see you happy," he said.

"Italy is nice," Buffy said. "But you know, Dawn has been thinking of transferring."

"I thought she enjoyed University here," Giles said.

"She does but there's this program at UC Berkeley she's interested in. She's just waiting to hear back from them," Buffy said. "And if Dawn leaves Italy, well, there isn't really a reason for me to stay here alone."

"Is that so?" he asked.

"It's so," she said. "Any ideas on where an old fashioned Slayer might be needed?"

"A few," he said. "I have something for you." He hadn't planned to show her now but her face was rosy and glowing in the waning light and she looked so open to him that he couldn't resist.

"A present?" she asked, hopefully.

"A present," he confirmed, and pushed up his sleeve to expose his wrist to her. She grabbed his hand and squealed in delight, drawing the stares of the other patrons. Giles ignored them.

"That's me!" she said, tracing the letters with her finger tip. "I'm right there."

"Right where my blood flows," Giles said softly. "Up through my heart, again and again."

Buffy pressed her lips to her name.

oooo

With Dawn back in the states, it didn't take Buffy long to pack her things and leave Italy behind.

"What about the demon population in Rome?" Giles asked halfheartedly, on the phone. It wasn't like he wanted her to stay there.

"There are plenty of girls stationed here," Buffy said and he could hear her taping boxes through the line. "Plus, as a Slayer, I follow my instincts."

"And where do your instincts lead you this time?" he asked.

"They say, Buffy, go to England," she said in a stern voice.

"Ah, England. Good country," he joked, playing along. "And are your instincts telling you that there is some sort of threat here that you need to fight?"

"Well, I guess I'm not so much following my instincts as my heart this time," she said, softly. "It feels kind of like my instincts, but the percentage of success hasn't been as high."

"But this time feels different?" Giles asked, shifting the phone from one ear to another. They'd been talking a long time.

"Maybe," Buffy said. "I hope it's different."

"And when will you arrive in London?" Giles asked, flipping open his date book.

"I'm shipping most of my stuff ahead," she said. "There isn't much. Some to Dawn back in California, and some with me. I should be there in two weeks from today."

"Well, I'll be sure someone is at Heathrow to fetch you," Giles said, writing _Buffy_ down on a square of his calendar. After a moments hesitation, he added an exclamation point after her name.

"How kind of you," she said. "But if we stay on the phone any longer, I'm going to have to cash my plane ticket to afford the call."

"Quite right," he said. "Well, If I can wait six months, I can wait another two weeks to see you."

"Goodnight, Giles," she said.

"Goodnight," he replied and hung up the phone.

Alone now, without the comfort of her voice in his ear, he moved around the flat, readying himself for bed. He shut off lights and locked doors. He checked each window and closed his bedroom door behind him. He brushed his teeth and got into bed. He had never been a deep sleeper and after living on the hellmouth, he'd stopped being a sound sleeper as well. These days, he drifted off for an hour or two at a time and woke up suddenly, as if in danger.

Now, he didn't bother to try to sleep. He thought about the things he had to do to prepare for Buffy's arrival. He would give her an office at the Council building. The one across the hall from his own technically belonged to Xander, but Xander was almost never in Great Britain, so he would relocate Xander's things and put Buffy there instead. That way she would be near to him.

Assuming, of course, that she wanted an office. She'd been fairly settled in Italy for a while now, perhaps she wanted to resume her life of world travel – head up another team of Slayers. Maybe she was just coming to England to pick out the cream of the crop of the Slayers training in the Council building so she could take her army and fly off into the wind.

He didn't know why he couldn't just ask her these things. After years together, after life and death, after hours on the phone, after loving her so much that he wrote her name on his skin, he still could never just say what was on his mind. It was stupid really. This constant guessing game he made himself play. Well that would all change.

When Buffy came, he would be honest with her always.

Well, he would try to be honest with her always.

oooo

When Buffy stepped out of the terminal with her bag, she scanned the crowd of cars and people for her Watcher. Instead, she found Andrew who smiled widely and waved his hand so fast it was a blur.

"Hi Buffy," he said.

"Where's Giles?" she asked, letting Andrew struggle with one of her suitcases.

"Oh, uh, Mr. Giles sent me to get you while he was in his meeting. I'm supposed to bring you to the Council building," Andrew said, leading them to a long, black car. Inside, the driver sat with the engine idling.

"Is that our ride?" she asked, watching the trunk pop open. She put in her larger suitcase and then, rolling her eyes, loaded the other one.

"It's the Council's car," Andrew said. "Only the best for numero uno."

"Let's go," she said, sliding into the back seat while Andrew tumbled in awkwardly behind her.

"Mr. Giles is training me to be a Watcher," Andrew said after a few minutes of driving and lapsed conversation. Buffy, at one time, would have introduced herself to the nameless driver but she knew now that he already knew who she was and that she'd get no response from him save for a yes ma'am or no ma'am.

"I know, Andrew," Buffy said with a little more kindness than she felt. "He says you're doing well."

"Really? Because I think that the whole British…"

"Andrew… I do want to hear about your whole training in tweed but I'm kinda beat. Do you mind if we catch up later?" she asked.

"Oh, okay," he said and from his bag, 'man-purse' Buffy's mind supplied, he pulled a gameboy and started playing intently.

Buffy let her eyes close but she didn't sleep. It was hard for her to sleep – even with the balance of power shifted, she never really felt safe. The sound of the smooth engine was soothing though and helped settle her down. She'd been so excited to see Giles and the disappointment had been sharp at the sight of Andrew but now every second that passed brought her closer to her Watcher. When the car stopped, she popped out excitedly.

"I'm supposed to take you to your office," Andrew said.

"I don't have an office here," Buffy said, watching the driver drive away with all her luggage still in the trunk. She didn't worry – it would end up where it was supposed to be.

"You do," Andrew said. "On the executive floor." Buffy shrugged and followed him in. The halls were mostly empty – they passed a few people Buffy didn't know and she didn't slow down enough for conversation. Sometimes people recognized her and sometimes they didn't and her least favorite activity was finding out which one it was going to be.

Finally, after a maze of hallways, they reached Buffy's office and she was surprised to see that her name really was on the door.

"I thought this was Xander's office," she said, touching the letters of her name. The plaque was shiny and new and still sort of greasy like it had recently been polished.

"Guess not," Andrew said and they went inside. "Want me to wait with you?"

"Not really," she said. "Where is Giles?"

"I'll go let him know you're here," Andrew said, edging out of the room. Buffy looked around the office – it was big, with a lovely view and a large, wooden desk. There wasn't anything personal about it because she hadn't moved in but she totally understood the gesture. This was Giles' way of asking her to stay, of letting her know she was welcome and wanted. She sat on the edge of the desk and tried not to pace but when she heard his voice down the hall, she burst out of the door and saw him standing a few yards away with a man she didn't know.

"There you are," he said and she walked up to him with her arms out. His hug was warm and familiar and he smelled clean and right. "Hello, Buffy,"

"Hi," she breathed. Finally, she let go and stepped back, looking over at his companion who was serving as their audience. "Who are you?"

"Buffy, this is Mr. Bradley, the Council's head librarian," Giles explained.

"It's like Bruce Wayne and Batman being in the same room," she said.

"I…" Mr. Bradley looked confused.

"Never mind," Giles said, fondly.

"Nice to meet you, Ma'am," Mr. Bradley said and she shook his hand.

"That will be all for now," Giles said, dismissing him. Mr. Bradley walked away slowly, looking back over his shoulder as Buffy linked her arm with Giles'. "Do you like your office, Buffy?"

"It's huge," she said. "I've never had an office before. A cubicle once, but…"

"Mine is just across the hall," he said, unlocking the door and letting them in. This seemed more familiar – books and tea cups and broadswords all over the place. She breathed in deeply.

"So we can be neighbors," she said. "What am I supposed to do with my office?"

"I guess that depends on what you plan to do in England," he said, motioning for her to sit down. She sat in one of the chairs facing his desk and he sat in the other, so they could be on the same side of the formidable piece of furniture.

"I plan to eat scones, mostly," she said. He gave her a small smile for her comedic effort.

"There is plenty to do around here," he said. "We'll find the right fit."

"Yeah," she said absently. "Mostly I plan to find a place to live in the next couple weeks and I was hoping you could help me with that."

"Of course," he said. "Are you staying in the same hotel?"

"For now," she said.

"Travel is tiring. Would you like to rest for awhile?" he asked. "I can have the car take you and your things there now if you'd like."

"I want to stay with you," she said. "I mean, if you aren't too busy. It's just that… with Dawn away now, I've been sort of isolated for the last few weeks and now you're here and I'm here and we're here together, so I thought maybe…"

He had missed her babbling.

"Consider my schedule cleared," he said. "I'll take you to check in myself and then we'll find some dinner, yes?"

"Normal Buffy and Giles visit routine then?" she asked.

"Oh… would you like to do something different?" he asked.

"Can't we just stay in?" she asked. "Not that I'm against dinner but…"

"We'll pick something up on the way home," he promised. Giles made a phone call and then led her down to his car. Her luggage was already in the back seat and he held open the door for her. She climbed in. It was a short drive – a pause to pick up curry for dinner – and then they were both in Giles' familiar, small flat. He built a fire in the fireplace while she opened the containers of food and found dishes in the kitchen. They sat on the sofa eating, watching the fire as if it were a television. Outside, it began to rain.

"I really am in England," she said, standing up to look out the window properly. Down in the street, cars drove slowly and pedestrians opened their umbrellas. Lights began to flicker on as the darkness settled. Giles came up behind her and let his hand rest on her shoulder.

"Yes," he said. "I'm so glad."

"I don't think I'll patrol tonight," she said, turning back to face him. He smiled in the soft light.

"No," he said. "Portia will probably take her squad out anyway, despite the rain."

"Portia?" Buffy asked.

"You met her once. She's the senior slayer in London," he said. "Was, anyway."

"Is she good?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, yes," he answered. "In a militant sort of way. Perhaps you could teach her a few things about imagination. She's very big on technique but it sometimes gets her in trouble."

"Just call me Professor Summers," she said softly, and leaned against him. He put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. She relaxed into him, all soft muscle and liquid bone. There was another hour of watching the fire and touching his fingers before he drove her back to the hotel.

oooo

That night, nearly two thousand girls had the same dream. Buffy wasn't sure if it was her dream that the other girls were sharing or if it was something bigger being funneled into the mind of every Slayer, but when she got to the Council building that morning, every Slayer she saw wore the same, hollowed look. When she went straight up to her office, there was a growing group spilling out of Giles' door.

"Move," she snapped and the girls fell away like the tide, leaving a tidy path for her to reach her Watcher.

"Buffy?" he said, as if he'd been waiting for her to arrive before listening to any of the girls.

"We have a problem," she said and the words tasted so familiar in her mouth that it was uncanny. She almost laughed after saying it, it was so normal. Giles' face slid into that single expression, that look of exhaustion and contempt that he always got after she said those particular words. There were 20 girls crowded around Buffy, 20 Slayers besides herself and they all mirrored her stance – feed wide for balance and crossed arms over their chests, maybe to protect their hearts, maybe to hold themselves together.

They moved to a larger room, one used as a classroom and Giles took notes on the whiteboard in his sloppy, masculine handwriting. They all discussed the dream and Giles wrote words like _deep magic_ and _apocalypse_ and _different dimension_ on the board. The dream didn't make sense but then, that was part of the battle. Somewhere in the back of the room, Buffy could hear a girl crying. She could tell that Giles couldn't hear it – it was soft. She scanned the room and saw the girl – she was so young. The girl met Buffy's eyes and then looked away again quickly.

"Let's take a break," Buffy said. Giles looked up from his book and nodded once. There was a time when he would have argued but now he just let Buffy lead. When the room began to buzz with conversation and movement, she saddled up to Giles and asked about the crying girl.

"That's… drat, I can't remember her name. She's new and young. Thirteen, I think, from Denmark," he said. "She hasn't been here very long."

"She was crying," Buffy said.

"If there is anything I've learned from being your Watcher, it's that you must lead your Slayers, not try to parent them," Giles said carefully. "I tried very few times to act like your father instead of your Watcher and none of them ended well."

"I know," she said. "Plus you as my dad is way, way icky." He smiled at her but it was brief and mostly in his eyes. They moved out of the room back toward his office where there was at least tea and biscuits if not actual lunch. "Tearing the space between the dimensions… is that what Glory did?"

"Sort of," Giles said in a way that meant no. "She opened a portal – portals are like doorways, meant to be opened and closed. Tearing the space between is not nearly so precise. It will be harder to mend, to right the realities. Our best hope is to stop it."

"I am sort of tired of cleaning up messes," Buffy said, closing his office door behind them. A few minutes without the constant din of teenage girls would be appreciated. She never gave Giles enough credit for sticking it out all those years in the library with her and Willow and even Cordelia.

"Sort of?" Giles asked, handing her tea.

"Very," she amended. She nibbled on the chocolate biscuit her gave her but it was halfhearted. Eating and slaying had never gone hand in hand for her. "So how do we stop it?"

"We can't stop it from this side. What I mean to say is, if this demon is trying to rip into our dimension, we need to go over to his to defeat him," Giles explained.

"We need Willow," Buffy said.

"And I have no idea how to locate her," Giles said, sitting down with heavy frustration. Buffy reached out and patted his hand.

"I wouldn't worry about that. Willow seems to know when she's needed. I'll send the word out – she'll show," Buffy promised. "In the mean time, I want all the training amped up to maximum levels. And I want as many Slayers as we can get in one location. If this demon does bust through the proverbial wall, I want an army waiting for him."

oooo

They moved from the Council building – an easy target – to their property is Scotland. Girls were already converging there by the time Buffy and Giles got into his car to start the drive north. Giles was behind the wheel and Buffy was on the phone with Dawn.

"What part of cancel your flight did you misunderstand?" Buffy was saying, the exasperation in her voice making it high and whiny. "Because I don't want you to fly home to an Apocalypse, that's why!"

Buffy paused and Giles could make out the tinny noise of Dawn's response but he couldn't decipher what she was saying. It sounded heated, whatever it was.

"They don't even celebrate Thanksgiving here, Dawn. Come for Christmas," Buffy snapped. Giles rolled his eyes. He was almost grateful an Apocalypse would distract from the turkey and cranberry sauce hunt.

"The world will still be here," Buffy was saying. "Yes it will. Yes, it will!"

"Let me talk to her," Giles said, holding out his hand for the phone. She glared at him and ignored his hand.

"Frankly, Dawn, I don't appreciate the lack of confidence. Have I ever let the world end before?" she said. "That's what I thought."

Giles had to chuckle. It only earned him another glare.

"I swear to God, Dawn, if you show up in the country before December, I'm gonna kick your ass all the way back to Berkeley," Buffy said. "Anyway, I'll call you when I save the world. Again."

She hung up the phone and sighed loudly.

"And how is your sister?" Giles asked lightly.

"Pissed," Buffy snapped. "Only Dawn would want to fly towards the horror."

"It's a Summers trait, I assure you," he said.

"I make an army and still, somehow I know that by the time this is all over, I'm going to be the one covered in demon goo," Buffy said. She glanced at the backseat that was piled high with weapons and last minute magical ingredients. Most of the supplies had gone ahead with the girls but the books and these last weapons, including the scythe, had come with Buffy and Giles.

"I'm still not certain we can do this without Willow. I mean, I've memorized the spell but…" Giles trailed off.

"Relax," Buffy said for maybe the hundredth time. "She'll be there."

"I don't understand how you can be so sure," Giles said.

"It's Willow. I don't even have to try to find her anymore. I just have to throw up the mental bat signal and she appears," Buffy explained.

"Bat signal?" he muttered but she just put her feet up on the dashboard and pretended to rest.

Buffy was right, though. Willow was already at the castle when they pulled through the gates. Buffy and Giles let the Slayers do the unloading while Buffy wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"Hey Mother Earth," Buffy said, her face aglow in pleasure at seeing her oft-absent friend. "Long time no anything."

"I know," Willow said sincerely. "It's been crazy. Hey, Giles."

Giles dipped his head in greeting.

"I suspect the others have filled you in?" he said and she nodded.

"Everything's all set up inside. Xander is making sure none of the girls mess up the sacred space," she said.

"Xander is here!" Buffy squealed and rushed past Willow into the formidable building.

"It's not really saving the world unless all the Scoobies are here," Willow said, poking her elbow into Giles' side.

"Quite," he said. "Dawn is not happy that she's missing it."

"I bet," Willow said, walking with him into the building. She led him through the dark hallways to where Xander and Buffy were embracing and talking.

"G-Man!" he called and Giles grimaced.

"Hello," he said. "Shall we save the world and then have pleasantries?"

"He's been grumpy all day," Buffy whispered loudly.

"I have not! I just seem to be the only one who is taking seriously the gravity of the situation," he said. "Per usual."

"We're totally aware," Willow said, schooling her features into a more serious layout.

"Right," Buffy said, mocking her seriousness. "Let's do it the old fashioned way. We fight, I slay, we party."

"Go get the girls," Giles snapped. "I want them all in here to watch this."

"Yes, Sir," Buffy said and went to go round the troops before all the nervous Slayer energy destroyed the castle. He turned to Willow.

"How is this going to work?" he asked.

"I can open a portal to the demon's dimension," she said, all trace of humor gone now. "It won't be very big so she can only take one other person with her. We don't know what's over there, exactly, because the only way these demon-y types can enter our realm causes the ultimate kablooey so she needs to go in guns blazing."

"Well if they destroy our world, what happens when we go over there?" Xander asked.

"I'm not quite sure," Willow said. "Here's the rub. Buffy's going to want to take you, Giles."

"Me?" Giles asked.

"She's going to want her right hand with her but you can't go. She needs to take a Slayer and you need to act as her anchor," Willow explained. "We need a way of pulling her back if something goes wrong."

"Giles is the best man for that job," Xander said solemnly. Giles nodded his agreement. He'd been anchoring Buffy the entire time he'd known her.

"Is there any preparation for me?" Giles asked.

"Some," Willow said nervously. Giles raised an eyebrow and waited for her to continue. "The best anchors are usually lovers – someone with that sort of intimate bond…" She trailed off looking at him with a sort of strange hope but he shook his head.

"Never?" Xander asked, but it sounded like the question escaped without his permission. Giles glared at him severely and he shrugged. "I'm just saying, all those sweaty training sessions..."

"Don't say," Giles said.

"In that case, the best bet is some sort of physical bond," Willow said. "Is there something that the two of you share? Like matching scars from the same battle or matching jewelry or anything? The same colored socks?" Willow's voice was tentatively hopeful – she knew Giles was close with Buffy but not on a fashion sense level. Giles was relieved though, because he had just the thing. He pulled up his sleeve and showed Willow his tattoo.

"Aww!" she squealed, startling him.

"Watcher-love, all right!" Xander said. Giles blushed a little.

"That's really sweet," Willow said. "But unless Buffy has a matching one I'm not sure it's going to be enough to anchor her."

"Don't worry Wil, we're two peas in a pod," Buffy said from the doorway. She held up her wrist and walked through the door, allowing the other Slayers to fill the large room behind her. They created a large circle around the sacred space and watched the Scoobies talk quietly. Each girl held a weapon or a stake and looked ready. They'd all shared the dream – they knew what could come out of the tear. In the dream, it had been snowing with the end of the world had arrived and they'd waited too long in preparing. Outside the sky grew cold and gray.

"Tattoos and then sex? We can't do anything normal," Xander griped.

"Who's having sex?" Buffy asked.

"Never mind," Giles snapped. "Let's get started. How do we activate the anchor?"

"I'll go start on the fresh ink," Willow said. She glanced outside. "I'll hurry."

"Fresh?" Buffy asked. "You're going to tattoo me again?"

"Sorry," Willow said. "I need to infuse the symbol with a more magical base. And if I were you, I'd find out which of these girls is the best artist because I don't think I should be the one to do it."

"It hurt like a bitch the first time," Buffy muttered.

"Yes," Giles said. "But you know what might hurt more?"

"The end of the world?" she asked and he tapped his nose as if to say precisely. "Fine. Xander, go find me an artist who can spell. Giles, if you aren't coming with me, then go help Willow. I'm going to find a traveling companion."

They all went their separate ways. Buffy had hoped that Faith would show because there wasn't anyone else she'd want to kick alternate dimension ass with, but Faith had declined to attend this specific Apocalypse. Buffy had called.

"You got it, B," she'd said. "Besides, all the talk of the world ending has made the demon population in Cleveland like quadruple. The nasties are just lined up at the hellmouth, waiting for it to open. I can't leave now."

"Fine," Buffy had said, somewhat petulantly. "Maybe I'll just take Giles."

"Yeah right," Faith had said. "Take Sasha or Portia, or maybe even Mai Ling."

"You know Portia?" Buffy had asked. "She seems sort of… severe."

"She's an ass-kicker. Hey look, I have to go kill something. If the world ends, I'll catch you on the flip-side."

And the connection had ended.

Portia was sparring with one of the younger girls, barking orders and mocking flaws in fighting and technique.

"Hey," Buffy said. Portia looked up. They'd been somewhat wary of one another since Buffy had come back to England and to Giles. She could tell that Giles had been working with Portia extensively – she recognized his training style in the girl's fighting, and ever since Buffy had returned, she'd been usurping Giles' time completely. Maybe Portia was bitter at the loss of her adopted Watcher but Buffy didn't care about that.

"Hey," Portia said, nodding her head. She respected Buffy, that much was clear.

"Want to take a road trip?" Buffy asked. She saw the gleam in Portia's dark eyes. Portia was about four inches taller than Buffy, much bulkier, and had skin like rich dark coffee. She was beautiful in a way that made Buffy feel pasty and cultureless but Buffy knew that she could kick ass and it was a soothing feeling.

"Yep," Portia said. She followed Buffy back to the center of the room, the other girls' envious glares on her back.

Willow was just finishing the new ink when Buffy returned to her side. Xander came back with the young Slayer Buffy had seen crying back at the council office.

"This is Kira," Xander said. "She's your artist."

"Let's go," Willow said. "Who is first?"

"Giles," Buffy said, pushing him into a chair. He rolled his eyes but stuck out his wrist gamely. Kira looked terrified.

"How comforting," Giles said, reacting to the girl's expression.

"It's easy," Buffy said. "Just go over the lines that are already there. And if you screw up, I'll kick your ass!"

"Um…" Kira said.

"Gallows humor," Xander said. "Go for it."

Kira reluctantly sat down across from Giles and took the hollow needle Willow offered to her.

"I'm going to chant, so just ignore me and focus," Willow said.

"That's a clean needle?" Giles inquired.

"Only infection you're going to get is magical," Xander quipped.

"Xander, go away," Giles said. Xander looked about to argue but instead went to talk to the Slayers at large. Willow started her chanting and Kira dipped the needle into the bowl of new ink. Buffy squeezed Giles' shoulder.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Always," he responded. He grimaced at the first few pricks but soon the warmth of the magicks overcame any pain. When Kira was done he could hardly even see a difference. This ink was more brown than green but the hand had been steady.

"Good job," Buffy said and slid easily into the chair that Giles had vacated. Giles pressed his handkerchief over his tender wrist and watched Buffy. Kira seemed a little more focused now and when she started on Buffy, Giles could feel the heat grow stronger.

"I can feel it," he said, lifting the handkerchief to inspect his wrist. The air around the tattoo seemed alive. "I can feel Buffy."

"Then it's working," Willow said. "Think of it as a magical rope tying you together."

"It's weird," Buffy said, her eyes faraway. "Like a bracelet you never ever want to take off." Everyone watched Kira finish the final flourish on the 's' and Giles refolded his handkerchief to the clean side and pressed it delicately against Buffy's wrist. She gave him a grateful smile. While his wrist was still oozing blood slightly, when she removed the cloth, her wrist was already well on the way to healing. Still, she tucked it into her pocket. "Good luck charm," she said. He nodded.

"Perhaps you should start, Willow," Giles said. She moved to the center of the circle. Xander and Buffy moved to flank her. Giles pulled Portia aside.

"I know," Portia said. "Just like training."

"No," Giles said. "This is nothing like your training." Portia's face blanched – he didn't often see the girl look frightened but Giles' grave tone was doing it. "This is life and death. This is the world Miss Williams. If you lose, we all lose." Portia's mouth opened and closed a few times.

"What do I do, Mr. Giles?" she asked.

"You do your best. You follow Buffy's orders. If it looks like it's too much, you keep fighting. You come back victorious or you die trying," he said. "She did it alone for seven years and now she's decided to take you with her. Don't let her down."

"Yes, Sir," she said, tightening her grip on her sword.

"Portia," Buffy called. In front of Willow, the air wavered and burst open with a bright, yellow light. The portal was opening. "Let's roll."

Giles moved to where Buffy was and she impulsively threw her arms around him. He hugged her tightly. He wished he could be going with her, weapons blazing like the old days but he was just as happy to anchor her. "If you feel me calling, make sure you're in contact with Portia because she isn't anchored," he whispered.

"Okay," she said, not letting go.

"Come back to me, Buffy, my love. I cannot do this on my own," he whispered. She gave him one final squeeze and a firm nod.

"I will be back in no time. Light a candle for us, because we're going in," she said. Giles watched her jump through the portal with Portia and got the same feeling he always got when she ran headlong into danger – a roiling in his gut that whispered cruelly that he wasn't going to see her alive again. He knew if she died, it would be for the last time.

But she wasn't exactly gone. It was odd – he knew that if he really wanted her to come back, all he had to do was yank on the mystical line that tied them together. He could feel echoes of her emotions – the adrenaline, the smidgen of fear, the overwhelming sense of power and authority. The swell of energy as she begun her battle. He could tell when she landed a well-placed blow or a perfectly executed kick. He felt the blossom of pain when she was kicked in the gut, or knocked off her feet. In essence, he was fighting the battle with her.

"Giles?" Willow asked, watching his face display what he was feeling. The Slayers were closing in on him, eying the open portal warily. It was already unstable – flickering and the magic made everyone edgy and tense. The Slayers gripped their weapons and when Giles bent over in phantom pain, Mai Ling moved to jump through after Buffy but Giles grabbed her arm to stop her.

"No," he groaned. "If you go through, no one is coming back."

"He's right," Willow said. "The portal is too unstable."

"This is horrible," Xander said. "How many times have we waited for Buffy to come home? It never gets easier."

Long minutes passed – maybe an hour. Giles stood in the same position the whole time, ducking and weaving blows that weren't aimed at him. He was unconsciously mirroring Buffy's movements. His arm shot out in a long arc and he knew it had been a final blow.

"That's it," he said. "Come home, Buffy. The portal is not stable, come home." He used all of his mental and magical power to tug on that line, to tug hard and when Buffy finally came flying out of the portal, she had Portia in her arms. The portal closed behind them and Buffy landed on her back with a large thud.

"Willow," she cried. "Portia is hurt."

Willow and Giles rushed over. Portia was unconscious with a large gash across her back from what looked like a sharp sword – maybe her own for she'd returned without it. She was bleeding profusely and Willow jumped into action. She held her hands over the wound and managed to stop the bleeding but she was tired from opening the portal.

"Girls!" Xander called and two slayers rushed over to help carry Portia to a bed to have her wounds dressed. Her toes drug on the stone as they carried her away. The other girls all followed, some looking disappointed they didn't get to fight anything.

Buffy looked exhausted – Giles could still feel her emotions rippling at him. She was filthy, covered in dirt, grime, and other substances Giles couldn't identify. She was bleeding from several places as well and had a black eye already forming. She stood up, favoring her entire left side. Giles was just relieved to see her alive.

"Well?" Willow asked. "Where did you end up?"

"Hell," Buffy said. "Portia was freaking amazing. There must have been fifteen demons there, twice our size and faster, too."

"And the threat?" Giles asked.

"Portia crushed the power source. That really pissed them off," Buffy said.

"Excellent," he said. "It's always the power source."

"I could feel you, I could almost hear you," Buffy said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he said. Willow grinned – another disaster averted.

"Now, I'm going to take a shower because whatever is on me kind of burns," she said and limped away.

"A couple thousand slayers and Buffy still has to do all the heavy lifting," Willow lamented, cleaning up the remnants of the spell. "Not very fair."

"Life isn't fair," Giles said absently. "Willow, this anchoring spell…"

"The effects should go away in a day or so," Willow said. "It isn't permanent but you might have some side-effects for a little while. Shared emotions, proximity issues…"

"Ah. Yes, thank you," he said. "I think we all deserve some rest but I'd like to catch up in the morning."

"Of course," Willow said. When she smiled, she was still the same old Willow, young and fresh faced in the library. He bid her a goodnight and went in search of an unoccupied room and perhaps some tea.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Darkness was and darkness was good. As with light. Light and Darkness dancing together, born together, born of each other, neither preceding, neither following, both fully being, in joyful rhythm."_ \- Madeleine L'Engle

*

Buffy found Giles in one of the small, unoccupied rooms on the highest floor. It was cold; the snow had finally started to fall and she was wrapped up in a thick sweater and slippers borrowed from one of the girls. Her hair was wet from her shower and she hadn't even thought about a hair dryer. Their packing had been kind of hurried. She really needed to stop living in that hotel. Slaying always seemed to put regular life on hold.

It was easy to find Giles, though, despite the din. She just followed the magical line that connected them. She knew when to climb stairs, when to turn left or right. She stopped at a door, certain he was behind it. She knew he was there just as she knew the sun would rise in the morning, that spring would come again, and that spandex was a privilege and not a right. She knocked and he opened the door so quickly that she was pretty sure he already knew she'd be on the other side.

"Hey Watcher," she said.

"Miss Summers," he said in his best, deep Watcher voice.

"Can I come in?" she asked and he stepped aside to admit her. The room was small – a twin bed and not much else. "Sheesh."

"What?" he asked.

"Kind of Spartan," she commented. "There are bigger rooms downstairs, you know."

"I'm quite all right here," he said.

"It's sort of girls gone wild down there," she admitted. "But not in the skanky way." He smiled and waited for her to reveal why she'd come. It was late and she had to be tired – he was.

"Are you all right, Buffy?" he asked. She nodded slowly.

"I don't really know why I came up here," she said. "I just sort of started walking and here I was."

"Willow mentioned some after effects of the spell. At the time, I wasn't sure what she meant by proximity issues but I think I'm beginning to understand," he said, rubbing his wrist where it was still sore.

"Like a moth to the flame," Buffy murmured, reaching for his wrist. The magical ink had changed the color of the tattoos from green to a dark brown and she liked them better this way. She didn't touch his tattoo but held his wrist carefully, delicately. Where she touched him, his skin hummed with magic. She dropped his wrist without warning. "Sorry."

"Quite all right," he said. "I feel it too."

"It's just… I don't think I can sleep with several floors between us," she admitted, a little ashamed.

"Perhaps we can find a room with two beds," he said. "There were several other empty ones…"

"It's freezing up here," she said. "Come downstairs. There's a fireplace in my room. We'll figure it out before my hair freezes which isn't even an exaggeration. I think my hair is actually freezing."

"All right," he said, giving in easily. He zipped his bag and picked it up, forever willing to follow her wherever she chose to lead him. It got much warmer as they entered the heart of the castle. It was late enough that most doors were closed and the loud gossiping had quieted down. Buffy's room was much larger with a roaring fire in the hearth. Her bed was larger as well, and there was a table and a chair. Her suitcase was open and spewing clothing and the floor was littered with weapons. "Tsk," he said.

"I know. Save the world, clean your sword. In the morning, I promise," she said, setting his bag down next to hers. "I'm just going to say this because it's sort of a weird request and I don't want you to think the wrong thing," she said.

"You want me to sleep in the bed with you," he said.

"Oh. Well, yes. Exactly, actually. So much for astonishing declarations," she said, looking at him oddly. "Does this anchor thing let you read my mind?"

"I simply know you very well," he assured her. "I couldn't sleep with you so far away either and I'm knackered."

"Thank the lord," she said, pulling off her thick sweater to reveal a pink t-shirt beneath. She climbed into the bed before more warmth could escape her small frame. He could see on her arms where Xander had put band-aids on all of her cuts and scrapes. In the morning, she would peel them off to find nothing underneath. Portia had already woken up and told the other Slayers excitedly about the battle. Fighting the urge to give into nerves, Giles turned off the lamp and slid into the bed beside her, leaving his glasses on the table. The sheets were cold and she moved closer to him instinctively. She smelled clean, like her shampoo.

"Portia did well," Giles said into the darkness.

"Yeah," Buffy said, sounding sleepy already. "I was stupid to be jealous of her."

"Jealous?" Giles asked, surprised. "Whatever for?"

"For training with you," Buffy said. "When I wasn't there. I hate sharing my Watcher."

"If it's any consolation, you're my favorite," he said in a whisper, as if someone could be listening.

"I know," she said, her fingers finding his in the darkness. Her hand was warm and she fell asleep quickly. He listened for the sound of her deep, even breathing before he allowed himself to follow her into slumber.

oooo

When Buffy woke up, she was alone in the bed. She sat up in the darkness and looked around. Giles was in front of the fireplace, attempting to restart the fire that had burned down in the night. It was still cold in the room; colder even, than when they'd fallen asleep.

"Giles?" she asked.

"I'm right here, Buffy," he said softly. "It's still early. Go back to sleep."

"Okay," she said, letting her head thump back against the pillow. She could already feel their magical connection fading – it was less now, the need for him to be near. Maybe that wasn't exactly right, Buffy thought. She still wanted him near, but the magic did not demand it. She watched him strike the match and touch the flame to the paper. It lit quickly and soon the wood caught, making the room smell vaguely smoky. He was good at lighting the fire – it began to warm the room. He came back to the bed in modest light. She watched him.

"I went out to use the loo," Giles said conversationally as he slid under the covers. "Outside is blanketed in snow. It's quite beautiful." Buffy's eyes lit up.

"I want to see," she whispered, sitting up.

"It'll be there in the morning," Giles said, yawning.

"In the morning, it will all be trampled and, well, slain," Buffy said. "Please show me." He narrowed his eyes at her, but relented almost immediately.

"All right," he said. "Put on your boots and your warm things." They got out of the bed and she pulled on her boots so her feet didn't have to touch the cold stone floor. He pulled on a sweater and his jacket. She put on her sweater and waited for him impatiently. "That isn't enough, Buffy," he admonished. "You're not used to snow."

"It's really all I have," she said. He made a noise that sounded like a mix between and grumble and mutter and reached into his bag. He pulled out a long, gray scarf and handed it to her. She smiled and wrapped it around her neck.

"Be very quiet," he whispered, opening the door. It was still so early that everyone would be asleep. She knew sunrise wasn't for another few hours and so they tiptoed along the hall. It was dark and they didn't have a light but she could see well enough in the darkness and he didn't seem to be stumbling around either. They made their way down the stairs to the front entrance. Just as they reached the door, they realized they weren't alone.

"Giles," Buffy whispered and pointed to the other doorway leading to the main entrance. Coming from the other direction were Xander and Willow.

"Hey guys," Xander said as if running into them sneaking out in the wee morning hours was normal. "It snowed!"

"Isn't it exciting?" Buffy said. Willow was holding a thermos in one hand and four cups by the handle in the other hand.

"Hot chocolate?" she asked.

"How did you know?" Giles asked but Willow just shrugged while everyone took a cup.

"I know Buffy," she said. It wasn't a very satisfying answer but Giles didn't ask anymore questions. Buffy pulled open the door and they crept outside, the snow crunching beneath their feet. The hot chocolate was warm in their hands and Buffy drank hers quickly so she didn't have to hold on to it. It warmed her up and she set the cup down so she could frolic out into the courtyard. She did a cartwheel and then a back flip, feeling the snow depress under her weight. Soon, Xander joined her, starting an impromptu snowball fight. Willow and Giles stood together, close to the safety of the building, tiredly.

"It's bloody freezing," Giles said, finally, stomping his feet.

"Go inside," Willow said, offering a solution. He shrugged one shoulder, unwilling to leave Buffy outside, even if she was still with her friends. "Xander knocked on my door like, ooh, snow!" Willow griped. "Of course, he went to Africa and I went to Russia and for me, the novelty is gone."

"Let them have their fun," Giles said, suddenly. "Because no matter how hard we try, we won't even be normal."

"Maudlin," Willow commented.

"Sorry."

"Not wrong, though," she conceded. "Do you want to hear my theory?"

"Yes," he said. He did want to hear it – Willow was smart and astute and willing to stand with him in the freezing cold Scotland night, watching Xander and Buffy make snow angels.

"I think that we aren't meant to be normal. That normal is boring and lazy. That trying to be normal is what gets us in to trouble all the time," Willow said. "Buffy tried to be normal the entire time she was in Sunnydale and all that brought was angst and despair. But now, she's totally invested in being a Slayer and living where she wants to live and she's actually really happy."

Giles didn't respond so Willow barreled on.

"Tonight, for instance. It could have been all, oh the world is ending again, woe is me, but it wasn't. Instead, Buffy just came here and fixed it. She was totally game for whatever it took. She went in guns blazing and came out a success. She wasn't worried about what anyone else would think. She just did it," Willow said.

"It took her a long time to reach this place," Giles agreed. "I should have tried to prepare her better… I should have explained how it would keep hurting her, the need for dates and parties and shopping. But she didn't want to listen."

"You did it right," Willow assured him. "You get that, don't you?"

"I don't…" he shrugged. He wanted to take off his glasses, clean them, but it was too cold to move his hands from his pockets.

"She loves you, Giles," Willow said. "After all this time! After everything. In the end, it just boils down to this."

"This?" Giles asked, softly.

"Four people who love each other playing in the snow," Willow said.

Buffy chose this moment to come running back up to them with Xander limping behind her.

"It's so cold!" Buffy squealed. "I can't feel my parts."

"Let's go back to bed," Giles said, his mind still devoted mostly to what Willow had said about normalcy and Buffy loving him after all the things they'd put each other through.

"Buffy and Giles are sleeping together," Xander whispered loudly to Willow.

"Because of the spell," Giles chimed in, but of course, Willow understood that better than any of them.

"Not in the sexy way," Buffy added.

"I think it's nice," Willow said. "Everyone needs someone to snuggle with on a cold night."

"It's almost morning now," Buffy commented.

"Goodnight," Giles said and pulled Buffy by the elbow toward their room. She was quiet again but he could hear her teeth chattering. In the room, she closed the door and he put another fat log on the fire. "Take off your wet things."

"But my wet things are my warm things," Buffy complained.

"Under the covers will be warm," he assured her. She pulled off her scarf, sweater, and her pants and dove into bed in only her t-shirt and her panties. She was still shivering.

"C-cold," she complained. The adrenaline of the night and playing had worn off and now she was facing the consequences of her frolic. Giles removed glasses, then his boots and his jacket and climbed into bed with her. "Giles," she whined.

"Come here," he said and pulled her body flush with his. "Christ, you're like an icicle. How on earth did you stay out there so long?"

"Slayer?" she asked, as if he knew the answer.

"Silly girl," he muttered and smoothed back her damp hair from her forehead. She shook against him and he rubbed his hands over her arms again and again to stimulate blood flow.

"You're warm," she sighed, forcing her body to relax. He tucked his knees into hers and held her against him tightly. "Thank you."

"Only you would save the world and get frostbite in one evening," he said, feeling tired all of a sudden. His eyes were so heavy in the dark room. Her ear was cold against his nose.

"What did you and Willow talk about?" she asked in the same sleepy slur that he currently could identify with.

"How overrated being normal was," he said.

"I'll say," she said. She shifted around so her toes were pressed to the top of his bare feet and he let out a strangled cry.

"That's cruel," he moaned.

"Hey, what's a Watcher for if I can't put my cold toes on his warm skin?" she asked.

"I knew I got that doctorate for something," he muttered. "Go to sleep now."

"Okay," she yawned. He kissed the top of her head and she let out a happy noise.

oooo

Portia woke up to both Buffy and Giles leaning over her. It was startling, to say the least, but to her benefit, she didn't flinch when she opened her eyes.

"How you feeling, kiddo?" Buffy asked.

"Fine," replied Portia. Giles knew Buffy wasn't asking after the wound that had healed in the night, but her emotional state after jumping through a hole in the air to hell. "A little hungry."

"There's breakfast downstairs," Giles assured her.

"Okay," Portia said, sitting up. Under her shirt, the gauze was itchy and unnecessary. "Thanks."

"The other girls are digging out the gate, but when they're through, everyone is going to hit the road," Buffy said. "Will you ride with us?"

"Sure," Portia said, knowing this was the reward for her bravery – not being allowed to ride with Buffy but being allowed to ride with Giles when Buffy had already returned and claimed him once again for her very own. Giles was not Portia's official Watcher but he had been the one training her and it had been weird and uncomfortable to lose his attentions so suddenly. Buffy was trying, in her own way, to apologize.

"Cool," Buffy said, standing.

"Digging out?" Portia asked Giles softly.

"Snow," Giles said. "We'll see you downstairs."

In the room that they had shared, Buffy and Giles folded their things, packing methodically and quietly. There wasn't much to do for Giles, but in one night, Buffy had managed to completely empty her suitcase. Things weren't uncomfortable between them, exactly, but there were suddenly more layers to their relationship. The magical connection was weak now. He could still feel it; her presence tingling just beneath his skin but it wasn't exact or strong. He thought he might miss it when it was gone. She knew she would too, and they were purposefully not talking about it. He watched her zip her suitcase and then straighten out the bed clothes.

That was another thing – going to sleep with her wrapped in his arms had seemed perfectly normal at the time. She'd been cold and he'd shared his body heat and they were both tired and wrung out from the magic. But in the morning, when she'd had her face pressed into neck and her leg thrown over his leg so they were all tangled, it wasn't the same. It was an intimate position – one their relationship could support, of course, but a place they'd not gone to before all the same.

"Let's go," Buffy said, picking up her suitcase and his before he had a chance.

"You think they're finished?" Giles asked.

"I can't see how it would take much longer," Buffy said. He opened the door for her and they made their way outside. Girls were already piling back into their rented cars to drive to their airports or train stations or back to the council. Xander and Willow were hugging goodbye. Buffy packed their luggage into Giles' trunk and then they went over to their friends.

"Come to London?" Buffy asked them both, hopefully.

"Nah," Xander said. He didn't offer any explanation and Buffy didn't ask. Xander was a traveling man now and she respected him for it.

"Willow?" Giles asked.

"I'll come when Dawnie comes to visit," she promised.

"Thank you both for all your help," Giles said. He hugged them both and then stepped away to fetch Portia so they could go. Buffy stayed behind and hugged Willow and Xander to her.

"Thanks again," she said.

"Oh, it's what we do," Xander said playfully. Someone called Xander's name and he dislodged himself from their arms and with a wave, disappeared into the group.

"You too, Will. You really saved the day," Buffy said. Willow beamed.

"I have a present for you and Giles," Willow said, pulling a folded piece of paper out of her pocket.

"What is it?" Buffy asked, taking the paper and looking at it. She couldn't understand the language but had no doubt that Giles would.

"A spell," Willow said.

"What does it do?" Buffy asked, folding it up and putting it in her own pocket.

"If you want to, you can make the anchoring spell permanent," Willow said. "I know that you and Giles aren't really together, or if you are I don't know… but…"

"We're in a gray area," Buffy acknowledged, thinking of how safe she felt when she woke up that morning.

"Even if things stay the same as they have always been, it's always nice to have an anchor," Willow said. "It isn't just about being held down to one dimension, it's about knowing in your heart that you are the most important person in someone's life."

"I can't ask Giles to…" Buffy shook her head, unwilling to say her thought out loud.

"You already have," Willow said. "Giles had to be the one to anchor you last night – in order for the anchoring spell to work, there has to be trust and love and hope already in place."

"It goes both ways," Buffy said, softly. "I'll think about it."

"I'll see you for Christmas," Willow said, with one final embrace. She could see Giles and Portia walking toward the car behind Buffy. It was time to go.

"Is that the holiday du jour for all Pagan Jews?" Buffy asked, lightly.

"I love that snoopy dance," Willow said.

"Buffy!" Giles called. "It's time to go, dearest." She turned to look over her shoulder, to acknowledge that she heard him and would be there in a moment, but when she turned back, Willow was already gone.

oooo

The ride back to London was not unlike the ride to Scotland. Giles still had to listen to Buffy argue with her sister over the phone, except this time Portia was with them, laying across the backseat singing along so softly with the radio that Giles could hardly hear.

"Well clearly the world didn't end, Dawn," Buffy was saying. "You're still here, aren't you?" Giles could almost predict what would come next from Buffy's mouth. "I am calling you now, aren't I?"

"Let me talk to her," Giles said, but was again ignored.

"The phone didn't work in the castle; I had to wait until we got back in the car. Anyway, it doesn't matter, we're alive and it's snowing and Xander and Willow say hi."

Buffy held the phone away from her ear as Dawn made her feelings at missing out once again known, loudly. Giles took this moment to snatch the phone away.

"Hello Dawn," he said.

"Hi Giles," Dawn said, her voice sounding far, far away. It wasn't a very good connection.

"You really didn't miss much," he assured her. "But we did miss you. How is school?"

"Hard," Dawn said. "I'm spending Thanksgiving with a friend, though, in Monterey so that should be fun." Hearing Giles voice always made Dawn into a reasonable person once more. He listened to her talk about school and how it had been raining for a month straight in California and how she'd borrowed a car and drove down to the crater two months ago and sat at the edge of it and thought about her mom.

"Be careful going there," Giles said softly. "You never know what mystical energies remain."

"You could say the same about me," Dawn said.

"Give me back that phone," Buffy said, squirming in her seat. He could tell she was curious to hear what Dawn was saying, what it was that made Giles issue that gentle warning.

"I don't want to talk to her again," Dawn said quickly into his ear. "Love you, bye."

"She hung up," Giles said, handing Buffy back her phone. Buffy scowled.

"Twerp," Buffy muttered and tossed the phone into her handbag.

"She's fine," Giles said.

"Do you have any sisters?" Buffy asked Portia.

"Four brothers," Portia responded, glumly.

"Yikes," Buffy said. "How was that?"

"Okay," Portia said. "They were big into protecting me and now I get to protect them. It isn't so bad." Giles smiled at her in the rearview mirror and Buffy sat back apparently satisfied by the answer. When it started to snow again, Giles slowed down and turned on the windshield wipers. As they made their way south, the snow turned to sleet and then rain.

Giles dropped Portia off first at the Council dormitory three blocks from the main building and then took Buffy to her hotel. She seemed reluctant to get out of the car, but she didn't ask him to stay or to take her anywhere else.

"Let's get dinner tomorrow," Giles said easily. "I'd like to discuss a few things with you."

"Am I in trouble?" Buffy asked.

"Oh yes," he joked. "Saving the world always deserves a stern punishment." She rolled her eyes. "Council business mostly."

"All right," she said. "I'll break out the tweed." He gave her a patented Giles look and got back into his car. He didn't hug her goodnight, shake her hand, or kiss her cheek before he pulled back into the traffic. She put her hand into her pocket, where Willow's spell was warm against her hip.

oooo

Buffy spent the day wandering around London. She stayed away from the tourist traps, wanting to avoid large groups of people. She walked down side streets and through parks. It was nice to have nothing to do. It wasn't true, of course. She had to find a place to live, she had to figure out what she was going to do in London, and she had an army of girls who depended on her leadership but for the next hour, or so, there was nothing pressing. Even the Apocalypse only came once a year, give or take, so she had that off her shoulders for a while.

When it began to rain, she went back to the hotel and took a long, hot bath. She read a book and ordered lunch. She wrote an e-mail to Dawn telling her about Scotland in more detail.

_Something is different between Giles and me_, she wrote. _I forgot what it's like to be able to see him whenever I want. I don't want to let that go._

An hour later, Dawn responded. She talked about school, her visit to the hole that used to be Sunnydale, and how midterms were the suck. At the bottom of the e-mail were her thoughts on Giles.

_Why should you have to let anything go? Keep him close. Closer than close. There is a man never to let out of your sight._

Buffy knew what Dawn meant. Giles had been an asset to her, a priceless one. He had devoted his entire life to her destiny and had asked very little in return. But that didn't seem to be enough anymore and Buffy wasn't the only person noticing it. She didn't want to let him go and she knew she didn't have to. The answer was right in her hand – the anchoring spell.

There were still a couple hours before she was supposed to meet Giles, but she went to the Council early, intent on a little research.

Mr. Bradley was at the front desk and he smiled at her when she came in. There were other people milling around the extensive library, Slayers and Watchers alike.

"Good afternoon," Mr. Bradley said.

"Hi," Buffy said. "I was wondering if I could look at a few books?"

"Which would you like?" he asked.

"Well, first, I would kind of like to see a copy of the Slayer's handbook," Buffy said. "Do you have that?"

"Well, yes, of course. Did you misplace your copy?" he asked, walking from behind the desk and leading her into the stacks.

"I've never actually read it," Buffy said. "Is that strange?" Mr. Bradley made a noise of disbelief but didn't actually manage to form any words. "Guess I did fine without it."

He pulled a thick booklet off a shelf and handed it to her. It looked dull – like a text book but she took it dutifully.

"Anything else, Miss Summers?" he asked.

"Where are the Watcher Diaries?" she asked.

"Upstairs, nine rows back and three rows over is the start. They fill the entire section, of course. Is there a specific one I can find for you?" he asked.

"No, I just… I'll be fine. Thank you," she said. He nodded and excused himself and she wandered away. With the handbook tucked firmly under her arms she went upstairs and counted the rows until she found herself face to face with hundreds of diaries. They were by year and she found herself wandering past the older ones until she found what she was looking for. 1994, 1995, 1996… and there they were. The Watcher Dairies of one Rupert Giles. She felt almost guilty as she pulled them off the shelf and carted them all to a nearby table. She'd never asked to read them and he never offered to let her. Clearly she knew what they held – accounts of her time with the Master, the drama that was Angel, the mayor, the Initiative. It was her life he was chronicling but the urge to see how he phrased it was overwhelming.

So she dove in.

Several hours later, he found her in the library. She'd not appeared at his office at their scheduled time and after some detective work on his part, he'd discovered her at the secluded table surrounded by books – his books.

"Buffy," he said, resting a hand on her shoulder. She wasn't startled and she glanced at him before clearing her throat and flipping through a book before finding the passage she wanted.

"Buffy is an untrained, erratic fighter who cares more about impractical footwear than her calling," she read, dryly.

"Why on earth are you reading these?" he asked, sitting in the chair across from her. She flipped to a new section.

"Buffy's attachment to Angelus is proving to unravel her. I fear the worst. Though she is a talented and resourceful Slayer, her feelings for this demon will kill her as surely as I am writing this," Buffy said. She glanced up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He shrugged helplessly. What was he supposed to say? He'd believed it at the time. She flipped through again and found what she was looking for.

"Buffy," he said, intent on ending this display.

"I have failed my Slayer in the worst way. I have let her down, put her in danger, and I do not deserve her respect or her trust. This will be my last entry as her Watcher and deservedly so. I do not deserve her forgiveness. If she asks me to leave, I will go. If she wishes to end my life, I shall let her with no reservations," Buffy spoke more softly this time and Giles rubbed his face with his hands, uncomfortable at reliving this particular dark period. "Did you really believe that, Giles?" she asked. When he didn't respond, she kept reading. "Perhaps my love for my Slayer has blinded me in some ways but I do not love her, as my superior has suggested, like a father. I love her as a Watcher loves his Slayer. Unconditionally, endlessly, selflessly. It is the way it has been since the beginning of time and I'm unsure how I am supposed to stop." Buffy's voice trailed off and he saw her touch the passage with reverence. "It stops for a while, after this. When you weren't officially my Watcher anymore."

"I started again anyway. How far have you read?" he asked.

"To where Dawn appears," she said. "When we first learned about Glory." He reached for the second volume and pried it gently from her hands.

"Please don't… I can't bear for you to read about… Buffy, I implore you to spare me of reading about your death," he said, his eyes wide and his voice rough and thick.

"Oh," she said. "I just wanted… to know what you thought about me."

"Ask me!" he said. "But this… Slayers are never supposed to read the diaries of their Watchers."

"I know," Buffy said, sounding a little guilty. "I read the handbook, too."

"I see," Giles said, cleaning his glasses on his tie. "And what did you think?"

"A little dated," she said. "I haven't read it all but I skimmed it anyway."

"We have much to discuss. May we leave these here? Where they belong?" Giles asked. "And go to dinner?"

"Yes," she said, taking the books and replacing them on the shelf. The handbook, however, she took with her. They headed down the stairs. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," Giles said, a little too quickly. "I'm surprised."

"Why?" Buffy asked.

"Our reservations are in fifteen minutes," Giles said, changing the subject.

It was a short walk, but a brisk one and Buffy was glad for her heavy coat and the fast pace that Giles set. Inside the restaurant was warm and bustling and they were seated without a wait. Giles ordered wine and Buffy perused the menu but she wasn't that hungry.

"What'll you have?" Giles asked.

"I don't know," Buffy said.

"This may sound presumptuous, but shall I simply order for you?" Giles asked.

"Yes, please," Buffy said, tossing down the menu. When the waiter came, he did just that and then there was nothing between them except the things left to say.

"So," Giles said. "It's a little ironic that I found you in the library with the handbook today."

"Why is that?" Buffy asked. "Is it strange I'd want to read something written about me for me?"

"It isn't that," Giles assured her. "It's simply that it's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about tonight. I was hoping that one of your new duties could be to rework it."

"You want me to add to the handbook?" Buffy asked.

"I want you to write a new one," Giles said. "There are things in the handbook that are good, but much of it is, as you say, dated. You are leading a revolution, Buffy. I think it's time you wrote down what you know."

"I…" she paused, on the verge of complaining that she didn't want to write a textbook like an old, dusty scholar. "Okay."

"Okay?" he laughed. "Just like that? No fight?"

"Yep," she said. "I'll do it."

"And here I am, wining and dining you, willing to go ten rounds," he said, shaking his head. "I'm very pleased."

"I'll need some help," she said.

"And you shall have it," he assured her. When their food came, their talk turned to Dawn and Christmas plans and the best places to look for housing. Giles promised her that they would go flat hunting together later in the week. He walked her back to the hotel and the lights of the city sparkled on the damp pavement. In the lobby of the hotel, he kissed her cheek.

"Do you ever wish things could be different?" she asked him, abruptly. This was a dangerous road that they sometimes traveled down together – it always ended in tears for her and him assuring her that destinies were not handed out willy-nilly.

"In what way?" he asked sounding more benevolently patient than he felt.

"It took us a really long time to get here," Buffy said, watching the lift open and leave without her. They were standing by a tall plant and the leaves were dusty and drooping. Giles' coat smelled of wet wool and her feet were beginning to ache in her high heels, but still, she kept them there, afraid to be alone in her room for the long night hours. "You and me."

"What would you have changed?" he asked.

"I…" she rolled her eyes, not in a sarcastic way, but to hold back tears. "I took you for grated. I let Angel torture you and I ignored you for a year and I said hurtful things all the time and you never…"

"But I did leave you," he said softly. "I shouldn't have."

"I deserved everything you gave me. I deserved more," she said. "But you are patient and kind and you love me. In your diary – every time I was careless or cruel or selfish, you noted my actions and then wrote that you loved me anyway."

"Because I did," he said. "I do."

"Why?" she demanded.

"You could not help loving Angel even though you knew of his flaws. You can't help loving Dawn even though she is not your sister by birth. You loved Willow despite the unstable magic that was coiled within her," Giles said. "You could not help but love them."

"Yeah, but…"

"How am I supposed to stop loving you?" he asked, his voice quiet and more than a tad desperate. "Tell me Buffy, if you know, because I have tried but I can't. I've done everything to stop but all I can do is love you despite your imperfections. In fact, I love you more because of them."

She stepped closer to him and he allowed her to rest her forehead against his chest. He put his arms around her and she sniffled.

"I don't deserve you," she said and he felt the vibrations of her voice against his sweater, the t-shirt beneath, and his skin.

"Perhaps not, but I'm all you've got," he joked and she chuckled with relief. "Get some sleep. We'll train in the morning, yes? Work out some of that tension?"

"All right," she said. He reached around her and called for the lift again. When it came, she stepped inside and gave him a small wave as the doors closed.

oooo

Buffy carried Willow's spell like a talisman. She carried it in pockets, in the waistband of her dress pants, tucked inside the soft cup of her bra, close to her heart. The paper grew softer each day, almost cloth-like at the folds. It smelled like her soap, and her perfume, a scent light and sweet that Dawn had sent her. Every morning she woke with the resolve to ask Giles about it, but the hours passed and she couldn't seem to say a word.

In the bathtub, with her skin swollen with water and blood, the tattoo on her wrist stood out like a dark beacon in the light. She traced it each night in bed with her finger, as if to say goodnight. She wondered if he did the same.

On the morning they were to meet the realtor to look at flats, she sat in his office while he worked. She'd come in early and then abandoned her office for his. He'd muttered a comment about how perhaps having her workspace so close had been a mistake but it was all in good fun and she'd left him to his work, content to read her Slayer's handbook in silence, occasionally making notations in the margins with a pencil.

She came across something interesting.

"Hey," Buffy said. "Hey, hey, hey."

"Is for horses," Giles said, sullenly, reading a report that looked so dull that Buffy didn't even bother to ask what it was for.

"And I quote," Buffy said. "Potentials are to live near or with their Watchers, train, blah, blah, blah. If the potential is called into active Slayer duty, she is to live exclusively with her Watcher until such time that her duty is complete. End quote."

"Complete would be a euphemism for death," Giles said, his voice extremely bitter.

"That wasn't the interesting part," she scolded. "Giles! Think about it! You live in this tiny, cramped, dusty, horrible flat in this dank bachelor pad building of doom! We're already meeting with a realtor."

"First of all, bachelor pad of doom is an exaggeration," he said. "Secondly, what?"

"The handbook says we have to live together," Buffy said. "Might as well chisel it into stone."

"You want to live with me?" Giles asked. Buffy nodded. "With me?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Together?" he asked.

"Geeze, it was just a thought," she said, a little hurt. She stuck her pencil into the handbook and shut it with a thump.

"I just…" he removed his glasses and she sighed loudly. He cleaned them anyway but tossed them onto the desk instead of replacing them in front of his strained eyes. "I don't understand why."

"Because you're my best friend and I see you every day anyway," she said, speaking to him as if his intelligence had suddenly been reduced by half.

"I'm your best friend?" he asked.

"I haven't said this word in a very long time but I'm pulling it out of the time capsule just for today," she said. "Duh."

"I didn't know you thought of me that way," he said in a voice that was bordering on sappy.

"I tattooed your name on my body," she snapped. "Do you need a nap or something?" He glared at her and it least this was normal Giles behavior. "I get it. Never mind. Buffy overload."

She opened her text again and looked very intently upon the page.

"Perhaps a townhouse wouldn't be amiss," he said, giving in only slightly. Buffy smiled that smug smile she got whenever he did something she wanted him to do.

oooo

Giles picked Dawn up at the airport. It was easy to spot her – that long curtain of brown hair, her tan skin and sunglasses. The fact that she was woefully under dressed. She passed him completely and dove into the car, shivering.

He thought he'd heard something along the lines of "hug later" but he couldn't be sure so he put her suitcase into the boot and got in.

"Cold?" he asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe," she said, leaning over to hug him awkwardly and quickly. "Can you turn on the engine?"

He obliged her and she cranked the heat.

"I'm sure Buffy has some warm things at the house you can borrow," Giles said, easing into the insanity that was traffic at Heathrow during the holidays. "How was your flight?"

"All right," she said. "Screaming babies and many a stiff upper lip. Where's Buffy?"

"She leads a training class three days a week," Giles said. "She ought to be home about the same time we do."

"Cool," Dawn said. Beside him, Dawn was still Dawn – thin and supple, chewing pink gum and smelling of sunshine but Giles could see the differences. She was no longer a child – she'd left her teens behind this last year and she'd lost that fidgety impatience that came with youth. She sat still for the ride and listened to him talk at length about the new house, about the room Buffy had put together for her so she'd always have a place to come home to. He could see that she was tired, jet-lagged and hungry and disoriented.

"Food and sleep?" Giles asked, when she'd failed to respond to anything he'd said for sometime.

"Fire bad, tree pretty," Dawn joked. It was now a long running Scooby joke and though she hadn't truly been there for the demise of the high school, her memories were real and that was all that mattered.

"Fair enough," Giles said. Buffy wasn't home when they arrived. Dawn oohed and ahhed at the new house appropriately and then had slumped into a chair. Giles, taking pity, put her in the bath and left a sandwich on her bed so she could just get some sleep. When Buffy got home, Dawn was already asleep, her wet hair seeping into her pillowcase.

"Should I wake her?" Buffy asked.

"Let her sleep. We have her for two weeks," Giles said, ushering Buffy down the hallway and away from Dawn's door.

"And Xander comes tomorrow!" Buffy said, unable to contain her excitement. "And then Willow will come whenever she comes and we'll all be together and I love family and Christmas and eggnog and our house is big and your books have their own room!"

"Exactly how much caffeine have you had today?" Giles asked, chuckling.

"I have to keep up with all those young, nubile Slayers somehow," Buffy said, sitting down at the kitchen table. Giles moved to start tea on the stove. Buffy learned quickly to get used to the bitter smell of tea. It hung all over the house; it clung to her clothing and her hair. A smell she used to associate with Giles she now associated with home – not so very different then.

The purchase of the house had been hasty and the move more so. Buffy had been so focused on getting Dawn's room livable that there were still unpacked boxes and crates in nearly every room. Giles had taken the master bedroom and Buffy the larger bathroom. Their rooms were upstairs while Dawn was downstairs as well as the kitchen, the parlor, and the library. All the things that had looked good in her Italian home looked too colorful and exotic for the brownstone they owned. Giles had insisted that Buffy's name be on the lease as well which suited Buffy just fine.

Although the man from the bank had said, "And sign here, Mrs. Giles," before everyone realized that new papers had to be drawn again with the correct names. They had all laughed nervously and the spell in Buffy's pocket had seemed to throb against her hip. The banker had pointedly not asked for a clarification of the relationship and Buffy was curious as to what Giles would have answered. His colleague? His friend? His charge? Those things were all true and yet all incorrect. Buffy had given up on wearing a lot of rings – to much damage post-slayage but she'd never worn a ring on the finger that indicated marriage. It hadn't seemed right – not even the ring that Angel had given her.

Now, Giles set tea in front of her and wandered away back to his project of sorting and shelving the library. Buffy knew she should finish unpacking her room. When Xander arrived, she would sleep with Dawn and give Xander her bed and when Willow came, well, things would just have to be sorted out again.

Buffy's room was simply a mattress and a pile of her clothing. She hadn't decided what color she wanted to paint it, what she wanted the furniture to look like, anything. They'd moved in and three days later, she'd flown to Seoul to work with one of the Slaying units there for six days. Then, she'd come home and gone right back to work on the manuscript and training and the energy left for paint samples and furniture stores was simply not there.

Buffy drank her tea and then went to check on Dawn. She was out, of course. Buffy could hear Giles muttering in the room next door and found him not shelving, but sitting on the floor reading.

"I thought I told you to clean your room, not play with your toys," Buffy scolded. He glanced up with a confused look.

"What? Ah… yes, very droll," he said. She navigated the books and boxes to sit in the only chair the room held. "Not that your room is much better, I'd imagine," he offered, pulling himself out of the world the book offered and back into the reality which, all in all, was not so bad.

"I'm indecisive," she said.

"I wish you would just let me hire a decorator," he said. "It could all be done swiftly and tastefully."

"And where will we live while they're in here breaking our tea cups and dulling our swords?" she asked. "We just got here."

"We'll book a room somewhere, it won't be for very long," he said, standing up and dusting off his pants.

"After Christmas, maybe," Buffy said. "Not while Dawn is here."

"No," Giles agreed. "I'm just going to work for a bit longer if you don't mind."

"Hint taken," Buffy said, walking out of the library. "I need a bath in the worst way anyhow."

Buffy's bathroom was actually closer to Giles' room but he almost never went inside. He dutifully went downstairs every morning for his shower and shave – something he'd have to do with Dawn next door, now. She loved the bathroom – its deep, claw foot tub with separate shower. The big, round mirror and skylight that made the bathroom bright and open in the day and romantic at night. She turned on the taps for the tub as hot as they would go. Her training class was rigorous and she was a little sore.

She was about half way through her soak when there was a light knock on the door.

"Yeah?" she called, thinking how unusual it was for Giles to interrupt her.

"It's me."

The voice belonged to her sister who opened the door and slipped in. Dawn had seen everything there was to see about Buffy and it went both ways, but Buffy still drew her knees to her chest while Dawn made herself comfy on the closed toilet.

"Hey kiddo, I thought you were asleep," Buffy said.

"I was, but time is all wonky and I woke up," Dawn explained. "Giles said you were in here."

"I am," Buffy said. "I'm almost done. Go crawl into my bed and I'll be in there in a moment."

"Well, see, that was my plan, but there seems to be a big pile of stuff on your bed," Dawn said.

"Oh," Buffy said. "I forgot about that. Is Giles still doing the book thing?"

"Bookier than ever," Dawn said.

"Then go get in his bed. He won't go to bed for another few hours anyway."

"Check," Dawn said. Giles room was more put together than her room. He kept the color, a warm brown, and his furniture looked fine. His clothes were all hung in the closet or folded in the bureau. Buffy finished her bath and put on her robe. Dawn was in the middle of Giles' large bed, staring at the ceiling with a bleary, jet-lagged expression.

"If you're that out of it, maybe you should just go back to bed," Buffy said, crawling onto the bed next to her.

"Tired and sleepy aren't the same," Dawn said. "I know I should try to sleep but my body thinks it's the day time."

"What do you think of the house?" Buffy asked, pulling the comforter up over them. The room was dim in the lamp light, but very Giles and it made them both feel safe and warm.

"Very English," Dawn said. "How did you swing the new roommate anyway?"

"A technicality," Buffy said. "Plus I think he was tired of the council paying for my hotel bill."

"I bet he never leaves dishes in the sink," Dawn said. "After a few years of college, that's how I know whether or not someone is going to be a good roommate."

"He definitely doesn't," Buffy said. "Can't say the same about me."

While Giles finally came upstairs, intent on falling into bed, he found Buffy and Dawn, giddy and giggling with exhaustion in his bed.

"Giles!" Buffy said.

"Um," Giles started.

"We bogarted your bed," Dawn said happily. "Which is very comfy."

"And what is wrong with your beds?" he asked, walking into the room and tossing his wallet on the dresser. He took off his shoes, his belt, and his glasses too but they made no sign of leaving.

"Mine is all the way downstairs," Dawn complained.

"Mine has stuff on it," Buffy added.

"Mine too," Giles muttered. Buffy shoved Dawn to the edge and scooted into the middle.

"Want to stay up all night with us and talk about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness?" Buffy asked, patting the space beside her.

"No," Giles said.

"Let's try again," Buffy said. "Want to stay up all night with us and talk about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness?" Giles groaned.

"You may stay for a little while longer," Giles said, pulling off his sweater and slipping into the bed next to Buffy. It was warmed from her body and her hot bath and he closed his eyes, listening to Dawn launch into an elaborate story about her Japanese History class and a garden snake. Buffy put her warm hand on his tummy and rubbed little circles, lulling him into sleep.

oooo

Giles woke up in his bed alone and for that he was grateful. It wasn't that waking up with Buffy was a bad thing, quite to the contrary, but waking up with Buffy and her little sister was about as attractive as trying to go to sleep with them chattering loudly next to him. His alarm was loud and he quieted it with a smack of his hand.

Downstairs, Buffy and Dawn stood in the kitchen making breakfast. They were already well awake, and from the looks of them, back from an early morning run. Dawn's ponytail swung merrily as she stirred a pitcher of orange juice. Though he was sleepy, he took a moment to commit this moment to memory – their airy laughter, the way their shoulders sloped was just the same – a shape Joyce had shared as well. The older Buffy got, the more she looked like her mother.

"Good morning," he said softly, sad for time to move forward.

"Hey," Dawn said. "We didn't want to wake you but there's breakfast."

"Dawn and I are going to the office. She wants to work out with the Slayers," Buffy said. "Want to come with?"

"I'll… uh… catch up," he said and moved past them, intent on the shower. Before he could close the door, Buffy was there behind him.

"Sorry about the sleepless night," Buffy said.

"I dozed through most of it anyhow," Giles assured her. Buffy nodded, knowing that he understood and would let them do it again and again if it was what she desired.

When Giles got to his office, Buffy was nowhere to be found but Dawn was in his chair reading one of the books she'd never been allowed to read when there was still a Sunnydale. She'd showered and dressed in jeans and a blue pullover that bore the name of her University in bright yellow letters.

"Naughty girl," Giles said, setting his briefcase down in one of the guest chairs. "Where is your sister?"

"Still training," Dawn said. "I had to stop because I thought I might die."

"You can't possibly know how much I understand," Giles said. Dawn smiled at him and set the book down. She schooled her features into a serious expression and he knew that he wouldn't be working this morning. "What?"

"Can we talk?" Dawn asked.

"I suppose," he said.

"About you and my sister," she said. "I have some questions."

"All right," Giles said, uncomfortably.

"I find lists help," Dawn said. She started ticking things off on her fingers, long and slender with nails painted a deep red. "Matching tattoos, moving to England, living together, Buffy feeling that it is acceptable to get all snuggly in your bed. What, exactly, is going on here?"

"Buffy and I are… family," Giles said. "Don't you think this is a conversation you ought to have with Buffy?"

"No," Dawn said. "I've never seen Buffy so happy, so relaxed. She's all aglow like she's got a new honey."

"None that I know of," Giles offered.

"You!" Dawn exclaimed. "It's you, stupid!"

"I can assure you that it isn't," Giles said.

"I don't know what happened in Scotland because I was rather pointedly not invited, but something changed and you guys are not saying a word," Dawn accused. "But I'm going to find out."

"Do your worst," Giles said, taking the book from her hands. "Now that we're through with that terribly uncomfortable conversation, let's talk about your future."

"Ugh," Dawn said. "Any college senior's least favorite word." Giles smiled.

"How would you like to become a Watcher?" Giles asked. Dawn looked at him with her mouth open for several seconds before she burst into tears and got up so she could hug him. He stroked her long hair while she cried against his chest. He understood her extreme reaction – it was one of relief. She'd spent most of her life being protected from her sister's life and now he was offering her a place in the same forbidden world.

"Okay," she said, finally, wiping her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_"That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along."_ \- Madeleine L'Engle

*

Buffy didn't come home. Dawn was out with some of her Slayer friends and Giles was waiting at the townhouse with supper getting cold. She had told him she'd be home by seven thirty and it was now teetering past eight o'clock. He called her office and her cell phone to no avail. Finally, he called Dawn.

"Hey," Dawn answered, her voice loud and the background noise louder.

"Dawn, it's Giles," he said, speaking loudly. His voice reverberated through the empty kitchen.

"Everything okay?" Dawn asked.

"Is Buffy with you?" he asked.

"No," Dawn yelled. "She's not with you?"

"N-no," he said, a tiny spark of worry unfurling in his gut. "When did you last see her?"

"In the training room," Dawn said. "Maybe she's still there."

"Thank you," he said, hanging up. He left the dinner on the table and grabbed his jacket. If something was wrong with Buffy, he wasn't going to waste anymore time. There were stakes in the car, and a knife and he drove recklessly back to the council.

No one stopped him as he stalked down the hallway with a stake in one hand and the knife in his good hand. It was late enough that most of the personnel had left. It used to be, in the old days, that the building was forever crawling with Watchers but now, their numbers were fewer and there were offices all over the globe. Robin was in the states, Xander was in charge of rounding up the girls and had an office in South Africa. There was another location in Sydney and one opening in Hong Kong. And Giles was at the top of this growing, wobbling pyramid. He and Buffy, calling the shots. It was, at times, overwhelming.

Giles burst through the doors of the floor – a network of rooms that he moved through at an open run. He could hear, in the furthest room, Buffy fighting. He burst through the doors, his knife in the air, ready to defend Buffy to the death from the…

…punching bag.

He lowered the knife and clutched at his side, filled with both relief and a very sharp pain.

"Go away," Buffy said, her punches not missing a beat. The bag swung precariously on its chain above.

"What?" Giles gasped, forcing his body into a more vertical position.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," she said. "Not when I'm angry."

"But why are you angry?" he asked.

"Giles, leave me alone!" she growled, kicking the bag so hard that the chain snapped and it fell down to the mat with a heavy thud. Buffy wouldn't face him. Her arms were crossed, her shoulders hunched and slick with sweat. She was shaking a little.

"I will never leave you alone," he said softly. "Now, tell me what's wrong." She turned slowly, swiping at her eyes. She took a moment to compose herself before she spoke.

"Did you tell my sister she could be a Watcher?" Buffy asked, her voice low and even – cold as ice.

"Yes," he said.

"How dare you?" Buffy asked. "She's my sister! I've bent over backwards for years trying to keep her away from this life. I sent her to college, gave her an option to be normal which she took, and you just gave her a one-way ticket back to hell!"

"Is that what your life is?" Giles asked, hurt. "The life we live together? Is it hell?"

"That isn't what I meant."

"It's what you said," Giles snapped.

"She's my sister," Buffy said.

"She's my family, too!" Giles retaliated, his voice raised and echoing in the big, empty room. "I can't ask her to pretend all that she's seen isn't real, Buffy, and I won't. She's smart, educated, and experienced. She will train a Slayer right; she will keep a Slayer alive."

"I don't want her to live her life in the line of fire! I want her to get married, to have kids, to be normal!" Buffy exclaimed.

"You don't get to choose for everyone! Dawn is a grown-up," Giles said. "And you know what? This is normal now. Demons and girls who are superheroes and hell dimensions. This is the real world and if you can't accept that after all this time, then I don't know what to tell you."

"It's normal for you and me, but it doesn't have to be for everyone else," Buffy said, sitting down on the slain punching bag. He wanted to knock his knuckles against her skull to see how thick it really was but instead he sat next to her, setting his weapons down at his feet carefully.

"Perhaps I should have mentioned it to you before I spoke with Dawn," he said. "But this is the world, Buffy, and you have too many other things to fight." There was a long silence where Buffy stared hard at the mat and Giles watched Buffy. Finally she looked at him.

"I got wigged," Buffy said.

"I see that."

"Life with you isn't hell," she said. "It's the most un-hell-y place I've ever lived. Well, except heaven. But I wasn't exactly alive when I was there, so really…"

"Truce?" Giles asked, sticking out his hand. She put her hand in his and shook.

"Sorry," she said. "Truce."

"Our dinner is now cold and congealed, but let's eat it anyway," Giles said standing and offering a hand to pull her up. She took it, if only for the symbolism. He drove them home and they ate in front of the TV, sort of waiting up for Dawn and sort of avoiding the inevitable separation of going to bed.

Buffy's cell phone started to ring from her pocket. It was a terrible device, horribly complicated and tiny with buttons he couldn't read and didn't understand. She seemed to grasp the whole concept rather easily. He watched her pull the phone from her pocket and stand up, moving into the other room.

"Hey Dawn," she said, secluding herself in the kitchen. Giles stared at the bit of carpet where she'd been sitting. Something had fallen from her pocket and he picked it up. It was a folded piece of paper. None of his business, really, but he looked at it anyway.

"Dawn is going to spend the night at the dorm with Rona," Buffy said, coming back in but she stopped when she saw him standing there, reading her spell. "That's mine."

"Is this what I think it is?" Giles asked, running his fingers over the words.

"Giles," she sighed impatiently. "It's just a spell."

"It's the anchor spell Willow performed on us," Giles said. "Isn't it?"

"Kind of," Buffy said, feeling like she'd lied to Giles which was a terrible feeling. But she hadn't really, she just had chosen not to share. She hadn't been ready. "It's the permanent version."

"How long have you had this?" he demanded in a very Watcher-y voice.

"Since Scotland," she said. "Willow gave it to me. She said that if we wanted to, we could perform it and then… well…"

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Giles asked, handing her the paper. She took it and folded it but she didn't return it to her pocket.

"I don't know," Buffy said. "I… I didn't want you to feel like you had to do this with me."

He reached for his glasses but he wasn't wearing them, so he rubbed the bridge of his nose instead.

"Are you mad?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"No," he said. "I'm just confused."

"It was really cool, you know, being anchored but it's a lot to ask someone. How much can you give to me, really? It's a silly spell. Just forget about it," she said, and went upstairs. He heard her bedroom door close firmly. Not quite a slam, but a statement nonetheless.

"Oh Willow," he said out loud. "Please come help me."

He waited for a moment but nothing happened. Feeling silly, he went upstairs and hovered outside her door for a while before knocking. When she didn't answer, he pushed into her room. She was sitting on her bed with the spell smoothed out in front of her. She was looking down at it with a wistful expression.

"All you had to do was ask, Buffy. I would have agreed." She turned to look at him and gave him a sad smile.

"I know," she said. "That's why I didn't ask." He frowned and she continued. "I know you'll give me anything I ask for. But I wanted you to want this spell too. No obligations."

"May I?" he asked and she nodded. He sat next to her on the edge of the bed. He reached for the spell slowly, giving her time to stop him, but she didn't and he picked it up to give it another read. "This is a very intimate spell."

"I know," she said.

"When Willow was first describing the spell to me, she asked me if…" he faltered. "She said the spell was most successful when two people had been…"

"So that's what the sex talk was about!" she exclaimed.

"Er… yes," he said. "Most people who perform a permanent spell like this are married."

"Oh," she said. "Then why did Willow give it to me?" He shrugged.

"In many ways, we have a very successful marriage, you and I," he offered. "We have been friends a long time, we work well together, we live together. We're family."

"Just without the intimate part," Buffy supplied. "Do you think Willow was telling us to get horizontal?" Giles blushed and stared into his lap for a moment, seeking composure.

"I think that Willow was offering us another layer of intimacy, but whether she meant physically, I cannot say," he said.

"If married people do this spell, what would happen if two unmarried people did it? If we cast it on each other?" Buffy asked.

"It would be much like the first time I imagine," Giles said. "Remember how you were so drawn to me in the castle? How you came and found me without realizing it? It would be like that, but stronger. More insistent."

"That doesn't sound bad," Buffy said quietly.

"Permanent is forever, dearest," he said kindly. "If you ever want to find a young man to fall for, if you want a large wedding and babies, than I would not suggest this spell."

"Oh," she said. He set the spell down.

"It's late. What do you say we get some sleep?"

"Okay," she said. "Night."

"Goodnight," he said, and shut her door. In his own room, he removed his clothing and put on his pajamas. He got into bed and turned off the lights, but sleep was far in coming, he knew. He stared up into the darkness as the minutes and then hours ticked by.

He had just begun to drift off when he door opened. He knew it was Buffy, he could tell by her footfalls. She moved easily through the darkness and stood at the edge of the bed.

"Giles?" Her voice was soft, unsure.

"Come on," he said, peeling back the blankets. She slid into the bed beside him and after only a moments hesitation, pressed her body against his. He slid an arm under her neck and she curled into his chest. "Are you all right?"

"I don't want a young husband or a big wedding or babies," she said. "I want this."

"You have this," he said, squeezing her briefly. It was hard to hug her when they were so close already. "This is your life."

"I know. But I don't want you to think that I'm just waiting around for something better," she whispered. "I'm sorry I got so mad at you today."

"Don't apologize for your emotions," he said. She was so warm beside him, all smooth skin and silky pajamas. He could feel her feet wriggling around, her toes against his calves. Even when she was tired and focused, she was rarely still. He drew little circles on her arm.

"Do you want to do the spell?" she asked. "Not because I'm your Slayer and you're my Watcher but because I'm Buffy Summers and you're Rupert Giles?"

"You'll be tied to an old man forever," he warned. "A stuffy, scone eating, book reading old Watcher." She giggled and he could feel her breath expelled against his neck.

"You'll be tied to a hot-headed, impatient girl with a bad vocabulary and a history of violence," she replied.

"I could think of worse things," he promised. She snuggled closer into him and he fell asleep with her hand resting over his heart.

oooo

Buffy had the distinct feeling she was being watched. It wasn't Giles; he was snoring softly beside her. She didn't particularly want to open her eyes. It was warm and comfortable where she was and everything smelled all manly and Giles-y. Especially Giles. Still, that nagging feeling of an audience wouldn't go away and so she forced her eyes open.

In the doorway which Buffy hadn't closed the night before, stood Dawn, Willow, and Xander. They all stood there watching with big, dopey grins on their faces.

"Hey Buff," Xander said. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Snuggling!" Dawn cried, answering the question before Buffy's bleary mind could come up with a smart ass reply. Giles woke up with a jump and a groan.

"What the…" he asked, squinting into the daylight.

"Hey Giles," Willow said cheerfully. "I got here as soon as I could."

"You called Willow?" Buffy asked, sitting up and untangling herself from Giles as gracefully as she could.

"He threw up the bat signal," Willow said. "It took me a while to realize who it was from."

"Get down with your bad self!" Buffy said, looking down at him fondly. "So cute."

"What if everyone who wasn't Buffy or me left the room now," Giles said.

"We'll be downstairs," Dawn said, ushering the others toward the staircase. Buffy flopped back down against the pillows and closed her eyes.

"Think they'll give us another half an hour?" she asked.

"No," he said.

"Oh well," she said, making no attempt to move. He was still and quiet beside her.

"You okay?"

"I feel like I ought to be more embarrassed," he admitted. "Caught in bed with my Slayer."

"Pfft," she said. "We weren't even naked."

"We bloody well could have been," he said. "No sense of propriety, those three."

"Mmm," Buffy said. "Naked Giles."

"Now I'm embarrassed," he said, pushing the covers back in an attempt to escape but she pulled him back down and righted the blankets.

"No embarrassment," she demanded. "Just snuggles. And when we're good with the snuggles, we can move on to smoochies. And when that's comfortable, we can move on to life altering anchor spells and after that, the sky is the limit!"

"Is that your plan?" he asked.

"It is," she affirmed. "I'm in no rush."

"As long as it's an official plan," he said drowsily, allowing himself this warm moment of contact with Buffy, her cheek against his chest.

"I give it the Watcher Council's seal of approval," Buffy said, letting her eyes slip close.

"BUFFY!" Dawn's shrill voice rang up the stairs. Buffy groaned and rolled out of Giles' arms.

"Fine," she called back. "I'm going to go change. I'll see you downstairs?"

"All right," Giles said. He watched Buffy leave. Perhaps he had time for a very quick, very freezing shower. Downstairs, everyone sat around the table chatting happily. There was a pause when he entered the room that could have been acknowledgment, but wasn't.

"Morning," Giles muttered, and took the tea Buffy handed him. There was food, made by Willow from the looks of it so he filled a plate and sat into the chair next to Dawn. For as chipper as she was, she looked slightly hung over. Only a Summers would be happy through a hangover.

"Have fun with your friends?" Giles asked, trying to move past the thick silence that had settled over them while they ate.

"Not as much fun as you," she said and then everyone started laughing, as if they had been holding it in. Even Buffy giggled while Giles turned red and glared.

"What I do in my own home is my business," he snapped and everyone tried to stop laughing but a few giggles escaped from Xander.

"Of course it is," Willow said soothingly.

"Be nice," Buffy scolded.

"We're nice," Dawn said. "I promise."

Giles ate the rest of his breakfast in a sullen silence. Buffy reached across her sister and patted his arm. He gave her a wink but didn't let go of his wounded expression.

"What's the plan for today, then?" Buffy asked, sitting back in her chair. "Touristy things?"

"Shopping," said Dawn.

"I could stand to pick up a few more things," Willow agreed.

"I am always for shopping," Buffy agreed. "Giles? Xander?"

"I refuse," Giles said, picking up the paper and opening it to hide his face.

"Good, us manly men can spend time doing manly things," Xander said. Giles didn't respond and Xander grinned, raising his eyebrows. Buffy knew he would spend the afternoon asking Giles all the questions about Buffy he wanted.

The women went to get ready. Xander put his stuff in Buffy's room and Willow's things were already in Dawn's room. Buffy looked around at this arrangement with a confused expression.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked. "I don't mind sleeping with Dawnie. I figured since you were all snuggly with Giles…"

"I guess he won't mind," Buffy said.

"Mind?" Dawn squawked. "You were like a human knot this morning. If you two had been any closer we would have had to up the rating."

"Fine," Buffy said. "It's fine."

"What's up with that, anyway?" Willow asked, digging through her suitcase for her toiletries bag.

"Later," Buffy said. "Mochas and gossip only when Giles is out of earshot."

"Oh goody," Dawn said.

Upstairs, Xander was getting settled in Buffy's room, still void of anything remotely resembling decorations.

"Not exactly Buffy's style," Xander commented when Giles appeared in the doorway.

"She doesn't spend a lot of time in here," Giles agreed.

"So I gathered," Xander said and Giles glowered slightly. "It's good, though."

"Good?" Giles asked.

"You and Buffy. I mean, when she was in Italy, she was happy but she wasn't herself, exactly. It's like she was trying to live this carefree life but we could all tell her heart was back in England," Xander explained.

"I don't know," Giles said, shaking his head. "I never know what she's thinking."

"Well, she learned a hard lesson with Parker. Do you remember? Buffy doesn't just hop into bed with someone she doesn't love anymore," Xander said and Giles cleared his throat awkwardly. "What?"

"What you saw… earlier… I mean, Buffy and I haven't…"

"GILES!" Xander yelled. "Please tell me you aren't saying what I think you're saying."

Giles just shrugged.

"That's it. If the girls are going shopping then we're going drinking and getting this all sorted out," Xander declared.

"Finally a good idea," Giles muttered and wandered off to find his coat.

oooo

Buffy sat with Willow and Dawn in the warm café, their shopping bags at their feet. Buffy was talking about training and rewriting the handbook in an effort to stave off the inevitable conversation about her Watcher. Finally Dawn couldn't take it anymore.

"And then Portia had the suggestion of—"

"Buffy! We don't care about stupid training! Tell us about Giles!" Dawn blurted.

"Giles," Buffy glared. "Is my Watcher."

"Why didn't you tell me you guys were shacking up?" Dawn asked.

"We're not!" Buffy said. "I mean, we don't usually… last night was… different."

"Well, the anchoring spell would make it necessary for that kind of proximity," Willow explained.

"We haven't actually performed the spell," Buffy admitted.

"Oh," said Willow. "I thought… Oh! So you're just! With Giles? Wow," Willow said.

"Where were you when Xander and I got on the Wow train?" asked Dawn.

"Well, I thought there was magic involved," Willow said.

"I only just told him about the spell last night," Buffy said, sipping her mocha. "I don't know if we're going to do it, even."

"It will make the sex better," Willow said knowingly. "So there's a reason."

Buffy looked out the window where the rain was threatening to turn to snow and didn't say anything.

"You haven't?" Dawn asked. "Buffy. Come on."

"He's my Watcher!" she defended. "He's all like, tweedy and smarter than me and can take away my Council credit card if I'm bad! I can't just change our relationship all suddenly like that."

"It's Giles," Willow said. "It doesn't matter what you do to him. He'd never stop being your Watcher."

"I know," Buffy said. "Still, it's a little wiggy. What if something happened? I'm not exactly bestest friends with my exes."

"He's not exactly getting any younger, Buff," Dawn said.

"I think the monks forgot your tact," Buffy said. Dawn stuck out her tongue.

"She's kind of right," Willow said. "Even with the new Slayers, you lead a dangerous life. What if something happened to you or to him? Would you regret having missed your opportunity?"

"Morbid," Buffy said.

"I think you should do the spell," Willow said. "Practical uses aside, I think it will help your relationship. Giles with his stiff upper lip and you with your…"

"Inability to open and fully commit?" Dawn offered.

"You are pushing your luck," Buffy said.

"I'm just being insightful," Dawn said. "Don't hate."

Several miles away, Xander and Giles sat in a dark pub well on their way to inebriation.

"You live together. You sleep together," Xander said.

"Occasionally sleep in the same bed," Giles corrected.

"You occasionally sleep near one another," Xander said, rolling his eyes. "I don't understand what you're waiting for."

"She's my Slayer," Giles said, running his finger around the rim of an empty shot glass. "I got fired for even caring about her. I can't just… you know."

"Have your naughty way with her?" Xander's eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

"I can't believe I'm talking about this with you," Giles said, rubbing his face.

"You know that Buffy's not exactly good at concealing her emotions," Xander said. "She loves you, Giles. And she deserves to be happy. So do you."

"Well, now that I have your approval," Giles muttered sarcastically.

"Buffy's my friend," Xander said. "I care about who she dates."

"I'm too old," Giles said. "I can't keep up with her half the time as it is."

"You should marry her," Xander said.

"What?" Giles exclaimed.

"Think about the tax benefits," he said, drinking the rest of his beer. "Let's go. We're supposed to be home in twenty minutes." Giles threw some money down on the table and put on his jacket.

"I really need friends my own age," he muttered.

"I heard that," Xander said.

oooo

What had been comfortable the night before was now extremely awkward. Buffy stood on one side of the bed and Giles on the other but neither made a move to get in. The heat was on and the curtains moved in the air behind Giles.

"So," Buffy said, desperate to break this tension. "What did you and Xander talk about?"

"Oh. Um." Giles scratched the back of his head. "What did you and the girls talk about?"

"Yeah," Buffy said, smoothing down the thighs of her pajama pants. "I'm kind of tired."

"Sleep, then," Giles said, turning off the lamp with a quick click. They both climbed into the bed in the darkness. Their hands brushed and Giles snatched his away. Buffy rolled so her back was to him. He punched his pillow a few times before stilling.

"I'm sorry that the bed situation got all confused," Buffy said, softly. "I don't mean to cramp your style."

"You're always welcome in my bed," Giles said and then cursed quietly, but not so quietly that Buffy couldn't hear. She rolled over to face him with a smile.

"Why is this weird?"

"I don't know," Giles said.

"Fix it," she ordered. He opened his arms and she scooted into him. He rubbed her arms a few times and smoothed her hair. "Better," she said.

"Yes," he agreed. "You know that no matter what happens, I will always care for you, don't you?"

"Yes," she said. "I love you too, Giles." He knew she was being honest and chose not to fret about what would come. He drifted into sleep.

Buffy woke up just as the sun rose. It was Christmas eve. Outside was gray and, she knew, probably freezing. A good day to stay inside with family and friends. Giles snored beside her and she gave his shoulder a nudge. He rolled over and quieted, still deeply asleep. She closed her eyes again, but sleep wouldn't return. She listened hard for sounds of life but she knew everyone else was probably asleep still, this early.

Giles mumbled something in his sleep, nothing she could make out but she rubbed his back lightly.

"Hmph," Giles said, and opened the eye that wasn't pressed into his pillow.

"Hey," Buffy said.

"Time?"

"Early," she said. "You can sleep if you want to."

"'Kay," he murmured closing the eye again. He tossed an arm across her waist and pulled her close to him. "You too."

"I'll try," she said which was a lie. There was no way she was going back to sleep. Instead, she rubbed her hand along his arm. She traced his knuckles and the fine white scars that littered his hands with her finger. She touched the crease of his elbow and followed the muscle up his bicep until she met with the edge of his t-shirt sleeve. Deciding to avoid the fabric, her finger jumped to the soft skin of his neck and followed his hairline. She traced his ear and tugged gently on the earlobe. He sighed contentedly. "Oh, are you awake?" she asked coyly.

"I am," he said. She snuggled closer and smiled.

"I like when you're here in the mornings."

"This is my bed," he pointed out, his words muffled by his pillow.

"I like when I'm here, then," she corrected dutifully.

"Me too," he said. "Come here, Buffy, and kiss me." It was a bold order, something he wouldn't have said if he weren't so bleary with early morning tiredness but she didn't give him a chance to change his mind. She slid her head onto his pillow and pressed her lips lightly against his. In her chest, her heart fluttered erratically against her ribcage and she felt a rush of adrenaline. His lips were soft and smooth and moved lightly against hers. It was a tired kiss and they were at a sort of awkward angle but Buffy smiled, knowing that it was perfect. When she pulled away, though, he seemed to wake up. His eyes snapped open and looked at her.

"Hi," she said. He sat up a little and she did too. He put his hands on her cheeks and pulled her head to his, kissing her again. This kiss was not sweet or sleepy. This was a kiss, a _kiss_. His fingers were in her bed hair and he dragged her body so she was flush against him. His arms snaked around her and she felt herself melt, relax as his tongue pressed insistently against hers.

Why had they waited so long?

It was so new and so familiar all at once. Even thought she'd never kissed Giles like this before, she already knew what he would taste like, how his hands would feel on her neck and how his smell would linger on her hair and clothes. The little sounds he made, wet and deep, and how she would whimper a little in response. How when they ran out of air, he would drag his lips along her jaw, down her neck. How he would nip at her collar bone. She brought his wrist up to her lips and kissed her own name.

Giles didn't know how to tell her what he wanted, or how badly he wanted it. Her hands slipped underneath his t-shirt and pulled up so that the offensive garment was off him and she flung it across the room. The air outside the bedclothes was chilly but she was warm. Her skin was smooth and pale. She'd lost that Southern California tan, and the sun she'd gotten in Italy was no longer evident. Instead she was fair like a doll, with her blonde hair and gray eyes. She was almost a different person than the Buffy in Sunnydale. She was the strongest she'd ever been but with his dinners, she'd filled out her curves again. She looked, though he would never tell her out loud, like her mother. Long lines and soft curls and warm eyes. He pulled her shirt over her head, a tiny strappy bit of cotton that was soft to the touch. Underneath she had on one of her sports bras, used for training and sleeping in a bed with a man who is not, technically, your honey.

His hands were big around her; she was still so small. He reached for the drawstring on her pants.

On the nightstand, her complicated mobile began to vibrate and then make all sorts of noise. She groaned, but reached for it.

"Buffy," she said. "Okay. Who? Yes, yes. Bye."

"Is?" he asked. "Wrong?" Words were slightly beyond him.

"One of the girls didn't check in last night," Buffy said. "We need to go down there."

"Which girl?" he asked, reaching for his glasses.

"Kathryn," she said, worriedly.

"She's only fourteen – did she go out without her partner?"

"I don't know," Buffy said. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Buffy," Giles said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "We're going to lose some every now and then. You can't blame yourself for every death."

"I can at least kill the hell out of whatever got her," Buffy said, throwing back the covers and reaching for her robe.

"Buffy," he said, reaching for her arm. She moved it out of the way.

"I know," she said. "I need to be angry right now."

"We don't know what happened yet," he said, getting out of the bed and moving to his dresser. "You know better than to rush out half-cocked." She glanced down briefly.

"Says you," she said. He blushed and held his sweater over his waist.

"Go get dressed," he murmured. "We'll figure this out. We always do."

"Thank you," she said.

They drove to dormitory in terse silence. Buffy was anxious, unable to sit still and opened the door of the car before he'd even turned off the engine. He parked and followed her into the building. Most of the girls were awake in their night things. Outside, the sky was beginning to gradually lighten. Buffy could already tell it was going to be freezing. When Giles came in behind her, his cheeks were rosy with the cold. His hair was rumpled and she had a moment of regret that they had been forced to leave things so unfinished. He was tired, they both were, but as always, Slaying and the life that went with it came first.

"Who is Kathryn's partner?" Giles said, sternly. Buffy moved so that she and her Watcher were shoulder to shoulder. All of the girls took a large step back, except for one. "Zhanna, come here." Zhanna looked over her shoulder and then back at Giles with an audible squeak.

"Her English isn't very good," Portia said, stepping forward as the leader of the pack. "That's why Kathryn was her partner. They both speak Russian."

"Oh," Buffy said.

"I speak Russian," Giles said.

"Of course you do," Buffy said. Giles took Zhanna by her arm and led her out of the common room and into the main office, chattering angrily in Russian. He slammed the door behind them. "Who was supposed to be in the office tonight?"

"I think it was Andrew," Portia said. "Look, these girls don't know anything. Maybe they should go back to bed?"

"Sure," Buffy said. "Unless you know anything about Kathryn, then you can go." The girls nodded and wandered back to their rooms with worried expressions. Portia remained.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't know where Andrew is and I didn't do any rounds because over half the girls are gone for the holiday." Portia said.

"It isn't your fault. Andrew should have been here. We should call her Watcher," Buffy said. Another girl who didn't return to bed stepped forward.

"We have the same Watcher, Ma'am," she said. "Mrs. Bennett."

"Call her," Portia said. "She should be here." The Slayer rushed away and left Buffy and Portia alone.

"We should do a sweep, look for her or whatever could have hurt her," Buffy said.

"What about Zhanna and Giles?" Portia asked. Buffy looked at the closed office door.

"He'll call me if he learns anything," Buffy said.

They made the rounds, following Kathryn and Zhanna's routine from previous nights but the sun was already rising and they didn't find anything. No vampires, no demons, and no Kathryn.

"Tell me more about Kathryn," Buffy asked but Portia shrugged.

"It's hard with the ones who don't speak my language," Portia said. "Kathryn and Zhanna were tight, and they fought hard, and when I asked them if the wanted to go home for Christmas…"

"What?" asked Buffy.

"Well, Zhanna doesn't have any family," Portia admitted. "A lot of the girls don't."

"You do," Buffy said. "Why didn't you go home?"

"This is my life now," Portia shrugged. "I'm the oldest, the strongest. These girls need me."

"Boy have I sung that song," Buffy muttered as they turned the corner that led back onto the dormitory's street. "You have to be careful. Your whole life isn't being a Slayer."

"What?" asked Portia. "How can you say that? All of a sudden I'm this different girl. I'm strong and I have all this power and then some guy with an eye patch comes and tells me that I should come with him and work for this Council and fight vampires! My whole life is different now."

"I know," Buffy said. "Portia, you're almost done with your training. In fact, if you wanted to leave tomorrow, I wouldn't stop you. You're a good Slayer. You can go anywhere you want in the world, but when you go, you go out to live your life. You fight demons but you also have friends and hobbies and even a job, if you want one."

"I don't understand," Portia grumbled. "How did you do this all alone?"

"I wasn't alone," Buffy said. "I had Giles and my friends. Maybe you need a break."

"Ha," said Portia sarcastically.

"No, I'm serious. You play mom to these girls twenty-four seven. Maybe you should transfer to another division." Buffy said. "Go scouting or lead up one of the squadrons."

"Leave London?" Portia asked, warily.

"I happen to know there's a vacancy in Rome," Buffy offered.

"Maybe," Portia said thoughtfully. They reached the door and Buffy opened it. Giles had opened the office door and was clearly waiting for Buffy to return. Behind them, in the shabby office chair, Zhanna sat sniffling.

"We didn't find anything," Buffy said.

"I found out quite a lot," Giles said, shooting a nasty glance at Zhanna who burst into fresh tears and started to defend herself in rapid Russian. Giles closed the door and left her alone in the office. "Thankfully, Kathryn is not dead."

"Good," Buffy said. "Right?"

"She ran away?" asked Portia.

"I'm afraid so. And Zhanna promised not to say," Giles said.

"It's better that we think she's dead?" asked Portia.

"We wouldn't look for her that way," Giles said.

"But… this isn't a prison," Buffy said, sadly. "No one has to stay."

"It's a lot of pressure," Portia offered.

"I know," Buffy said. "Believe me."

"Let's… perhaps we should inform the girls that Kathryn isn't dead and go from there?" Giles said.

"But where do we go?" asked Buffy. "Clearly she doesn't want to work for us and I don't want to make her."

"We ought to make sure she's safe. England to Russia isn't exactly a short walk," Giles said.

"It's Christmas Eve," Portia said. "You want us all to research up on Christmas Eve? We never get a break."

"No," Giles said.

"Let's just…" Buffy shrugged. "Let's do something fun for the girls. Put one of your council lackeys on the case."

"What should we do for them?" asked Portia.

"Like, a party," Buffy said.

"A what?" asked Portia.

"A shindig. A fiesta," Buffy said. "A…"

"Yes," Giles said. "We get it."

"What do you think?" Buffy asked Portia.

"Well," she said. "Could we invite boys?"

"I don't…" Giles said. "Do you even know boys?"

"Invite whoever," Buffy said, smiling. "We'll have it at the storage warehouse by the docks."

"Thanks, Buffy," Portia said. "I'm going to go tell everyone."

Giles touched Buffy's shoulder.

"You all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "I think so."

"You're a fine leader, Buffy," he said. "Kathryn leaving has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with Kathryn."

"I know," she said. "Still…"

"Why don't we go home?" he asked. She nodded. "I'm going to go let Zhanna off the hook. Meet you at the car?"

"Sure," she said.

When they got home, Willow and Dawn were already awake and in front of the television eating sugary cereal. Buffy could hear Dawn laughing as soon as they walked in the door.

"I love British cartoons," Willow said happily.

"Hey guys," Buffy said.

"Oh! You're back!" Dawn said. "Where have you been?"

"Mini-crisis at the dormitory," Giles said, suppressing a yawn.

"Is everything okay?" Willow asked.

"We're having a party!" Buffy said.

"O-kay," Dawn said. "I guess that's a yes."

"Yeah," Buffy said. "At the warehouse, for the girls. They're all kinda homesick and in need of some holiday cheer. I thought if you guys wanted to go help, they might like it. You know, magic in some decorations and buy them alcohol and find some young strapping men to invite…"

"A pregnant Slayer is a careless Slayer," Giles interrupted.

"And some condoms," Buffy said. "I want to go all out for them."

"Okay," Dawn said. "We were just going to sit here all day but that sounds good too."

"Can I go wake up Xander now?" Willow asked, already running up the stairs. "XANDER!"

"In the mean time," Giles said.

"We're going back to sleep," Buffy finished. "I'll come down in a few hours to help you."

"Okay," said Dawn.

Giles room was as they had left it – rumpled bedclothes and everything. Buffy really was tired from the early call and the adrenaline wearing off. She clothed the door with the intent of taking off her shoes and falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Giles, however had other plans. As soon as Buffy shut the door, she found herself being pressed against it, Giles' lips firmly against her own. It was surprising, at first, but soon she adapted and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. He reached past her and locked the door.

"No interruptions this time," he growled and pulled her shirt up over her head. This was a side of Giles she rarely got to see. She was always leading, absorbing his advice but ultimately being the one to call the shots. Now, she was happy to let him have control. He took off his own sweater and shirt in one tug and she reached out to touch him. She ran her hands over his warm skin, over his shoulder blades and the dip of his spine. The door was awkward and hard on her own back but it didn't seem to matter with him kissing her. Nothing else seemed to matter – the party, her tiredness, the fact that she could hear voices down the hall.

His fingers finally reached their goal of undoing her pants and shoving them down her hips. She let out a surprised yelp to which he only grinned.

"Bed," she managed and he helped her step out of the tangled fabric and pushed her down onto the mattress. She watched him remove his own clothing – all of it and there was no doubt as to what he wanted. Not wanting to be left out, she wiggled out of the rest of her under things as well.

"I can still stop," Giles growled, which Buffy believed. She knew he wouldn't ever hurt her and that he couldn't force her to do anything – that he'd never try.

"Please don't," she said. He smiled, a wild smile that changed his whole face.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say," he said.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Perhaps what we are called to do may not seem like much, but the butterfly is a small creature to affect galaxies thousands of light years away."_ \- Madeleine L'Engle

*

"Think they're really sleeping?" Dawn asked. She, Willow, and Xander were in the Council car on the way to the docks.

"Um," said Xander. "Maybe?"

"That means no," Dawn said.

"Most of the girls are underage, even in this country. I think we should go easy on the alcohol," Willow said, making herself a list. "And isn't there, like, a lot of stuff in the warehouse?"

"I mean, it's good, Giles and my sister, but I can't really think of Giles as my brother," Dawn said. Xander nodded in agreement.

"Like, a boat? And a fleet of cars? And big weapons?" Willow asked.

"But Buffy is kind of like a sister-mom hybrid," Xander said. "Besides, who needs labels?"

"We can move the cars and maybe even the boat, but the weapons…" Willow said.

"For heaven's sake, Willow, we'll move the weapons!" Dawn said. "Can you focus up please?"

"Yeah, but move them into where?" Willow asked.

"The boat, Will, what does it matter?" Xander asked. Her eyes got big and she shrunk down into her seat.

"Never mind," she muttered.

"Is there something wrong?" Dawn asked her, crossing her arms. "You've been all sketchy since you've got here."

"I just…" Willow shook her head. "It's nothing."

"That was convincing," Xander said.

"I don't know," Willow said. "I mean, I do know, I'm just not ready to talk about it. Let's just focus on the party and Christmas."

"And the fact that Giles is probably defiling my sister right now," Dawn added. In the front seat, the driver made a small noise that sounded like suppressed laughter. "Hey, I hear you up there and I'm pretty sure that confidentiality is built into your contract."

"Yes, Miss Summers," the driver said.

"Be nice," Xander scolded. "Try to think back when we were poor. Remember? All the girls living in Buffy's house?"

"I know, I know," Dawn said. "Sorry."

"We're here," Willow said. She seemed eager to get out of the car. The warehouse door was locked with a big padlock. Dawn leaned into the driver's window.

"Maybe you could hang out for a bit?" Dawn said and the driver nodded and drove around to a parking space.

"Anyone have a key?" Xander asked.

"I've been known to open the right kind of lock," Dawn said, only half joking.

"I'll just…" Willow pointed her finger at the lock and it opened. She opened the door and stepped into the warehouse. "You see? Stuff!" There were several cars, a boat on a trailer and the bulk of the over sized weapon collection.

"Yowza," Xander said. "What the hell are we going to do with all of this?" Willow made a huffy noise and crossed her arms.

oooo

Giles couldn't stop touching Buffy. His hands slid over her even after she'd dozed off. Her hair was everywhere, across her pillow and his. When she woke up, she'd be embarrassed by the tangles but now it was just one more thing to love. He touched the jutting bones of her hip and the white scar on her stomach and the gold cross she wore around her neck. She sighed a little, but didn't wake up.

Somewhere inside her pants on the floor, her phone began to ring.

"Ignore it," Buffy murmured, surprising him.

"What if it's important?" he asked, his lips moving over her shoulder.

"It's Dawn," Buffy said. "It's her ring." He ignored it but when it began to ring again a minute later, he got out of the bed long enough to retrieve the advice and answered it as he slid back in. Buffy rolled into his arms. He closed his eyes against the expanse of temptingly bare skin when he answered.

"Hullo," he said, gruffly.

"Giles? Where's Buffy?" Dawn said.

"Er… indisposed," Giles said. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Oh, ew," Dawn said loudly enough for Buffy to snicker. "You sound… ew, guys, he sounds totally satisfied. I can't talk to him. Here."

"Giles?" It was Xander.

"Yes?" Giles responded.

"So, sorry to interrupt, but there is a lot of stuff in the warehouse," he said. "Did Buffy have some sort of plan for it all?"

"Um, hang on," Giles said, and put his hand over the mouthpiece. "Darling, they want to know what to do with all the stuff."

"Burn it," Buffy mumbled, her breath tickling the hair on his chest.

"She doesn't have a specific plan, no," Giles said into the phone. "Move what you can and we'll come down to help you."

He hung up before Xander or anyone else could protest and tossed the phone onto the nightstand where it slid on the smooth surface and fell to the floor.

"Don't wanna go," Buffy mumbled and tightened her grip on him. He could feel where she was still moist and stick from their lovemaking against his hip and he pressed back a little.

"We have a little time," he said, diplomatically. "Though, I thought we might use it for sleeping."

"Hmph," she said, and wriggled so she was on top of him, though her face was still heavy in his neck. She wasn't quite awake but was definitely not asleep.

"A man needs some recovery time. A man so very, very old as I am," he teased.

"I'm no spring chicken either," she said, the first full sentence she'd spoken in a little while.

"Oh yes," he laughed. "I might have to trade you in for a newer model."

"You'd better not," she said with a smack and punished him by rolling back onto the mattress. "I need a shower."

"Oi," he said, grabbing her before she made it out of the bed. "Can't you do that from here?"

"Not successfully," she said, regaining her energy more quickly now. "I guess I could go meet my friends and my baby sister smelling like sex."

"Fine," he said. He let her go and she stood, stretching her arms over her head. He watched her move around in the sunlight. "Magnificent."

She threw him a saucy grin over her shoulder before she slipped on her robe.

"Room for two, you know."

It didn't take him long to follow her into the bathroom.

It was nearly an hour later when they finally reached the dock. The hot shower had made Giles cleaner but no less sore or tired. He walked with a light limp.

"Hey!" Buffy greeted, walking into the warehouse. The cars had been moved outside and half the weapons were moved into the cars or onto the boat but some were too big to do anything with.

"Hi!" Dawn said. "We were beginning to wonder if you were coming at all."

"Traffic," Buffy lied, easily. Xander watched Giles move more slowly toward the group while shaking his head.

"Oh man," Xander said, laughing. "You look… oh Giles."

"Do shut up," Giles said, with a grimace.

"It's times like these when I miss Anya the most. She could always say what I was thinking without getting into trouble," he said. Giles smiled at him a little. Xander was only just now able to speak about Anya in normal conversation.

"And what would she say?" Giles asked.

"Oh no," Xander said. "I'm not walking into that trap."

"I will," Willow said. "You look freshly fuc-"

"Now, now," Giles said, shaking his head. "Language."

"Giles!" Buffy called. "Let's put the boat into the water."

"Can we do that?" Xander asked, surprised.

"We have a dock," Giles said. "It's just a matter of getting the boat to the water and then navigating it into the dock."

"Neat," Xander said. "I've never driven a boat before."

"Well, it's not really like driving a car and, not to cast doubt on your abilities, I think depth perception is rather essential," Giles said, carefully.

"Oh," Xander put his hands in his pockets. "That makes sense."

"Just…" Giles sighed. "Take one of the women with you." Xander grinned and ran up to Dawn so they could start organizing the project. Giles watched Buffy start to push some of the heavy weapons to the side of the warehouse. Cannons and other antiquities that had been used in battle before more modern inventions took their place.

"Supervising this one, are you?" Buffy called. Giles moved closer before he responded.

"I'm a tad sore," he admitted. She smirked, looking pleased with herself. "I'm afraid I'm out of ideas as to where to put these."

"Let's just leave them. What's more appropriate décor for Slayers?" she said.

"Good point. I think Willow has a list. Perhaps I'll go do the shopping," he offered. Shopping seemed safe and fairly non-violent.

"You could take some of the girls," Buffy suggested.

"Or not," he said.

"Maybe Willow?" Buffy said, pointing to where Willow was watching Xander hitch up a car to the trailer with growing apprehension.

"Some reason you don't want me to go alone, my dear?" he asked.

"I just don't want you to come back with only scotch and smelly cheese for party food."

"I shall not dignify that with an answer," he grumbled walking away.

"Willow!" Buffy called. "Go with Giles!"

"Okie dokie," she called back. Giles glared.

"Hey, it's part of the whole shared leadership gig you seemed so gung-ho about," Buffy said lightly. "Have fun."

oooo

Dawn was a teeny tiny bit drunk. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time with both Buffy and Giles in the same room as her. There were so many other people there, however, that Dawn poured herself another drink without a care in the world. Besides, she was legal in the U.K. and would be in America in less than a year. The party was a success and several of the Slayers had even convinced a couple of the local university boys to attend.

There were also several Watchers standing against the walls making sure nothing got too out of hand. Anyone under eighteen was strictly forbidden to drink alcohol and two of the Watchers were guarding the door making sure no one sneaked out to do anything unseemly. All in all, it was a fun party, but not too fun. Still, the Slayers took what they could get.

The music was loud, the lights low, and the dancing close and intense. Dawn had already found a couple of boys to dance with but now she was just content to lean against the wall and watch. Before too long, Xander came and stood next to her, resting his elbow on her shoulder affectionately.

"Hey lush," he said.

"I'm not drunk," she said. "I'm…"

"I have no problem with you being drunk," he said.

"Good to know," she said, leaning against him. "Finally, a Christmas that doesn't suck."

"Amen," he said, clicking his beer bottle against her plastic cup.

"Thought I keep waiting for something horrible to crash through the door or the ceiling or even the floor," she admitted.

"Oh that already happened. You missed it," he said. "Three demons. Not the smart kind, crashing a Slayer party."

"I missed it?" she exclaimed. "I always miss it."

"I saw Giles put his hand under your sister's sweater," he said. "I mean, if you're looking for horror." Dawn smacked him hard.

"You suck!" she said. "As if I didn't have enough to haunt my dreams!"

"I thought you were cool with Giles macking on Buffy?" he said.

"I am, but I don't need you to paint a freaking picture," she grumbled. "I need some air."

"Well, I hear there's a boat in the harbor," Xander said. "I bet it's pretty full of air right now."

Dawn glanced meaningfully at the Watchers posted by the door.

"I don't know if I can escape on my own," she teased.

"What if you had an escort?" he said. "Someone who works for the Watchers Council, perhaps?"

"Are you offering?" she asked. He stuck his arm out and she took his elbow.

Giles saw them walk by.

"That's interesting," Giles murmured. Buffy looked up from her plate of food.

"Huh?"

"Xander just left with Dawn," he said.

"Oh, I'll kill him until he's good and dead," Buffy said, setting her plate down and heading for the door. Giles grabbed her arm.

"I'm sure they're just going for a walk," Giles said. "Don't overreact."

"Overreact? Did you just tell me not to overreact?" she asked.

"I simply mean that Xander and Dawn have been friends for a long time. You shouldn't jump to conclusions."

"I'm not jumping anywhere," Buffy muttered. "It's just that he's too old for her." Giles laughed.

"Oh Buffy," he said, patting her shoulder. "Unlike you and I, you mean?"

"Well, we're different!" she said, stomping her foot.

"If you think about it, Dawn has existed for a millennia. Really, she's too old for him," he said.

"I'm leaving," she said, walking away with the sound of his laughter behind her.

oooo

Christmas morning took place in the afternoon on account of everyone stumbling home in the wee morning hours. Giles was the first out of bed, sneaking away from Buffy to go downstairs and start brewing coffee instead of tea. They hadn't gotten a Christmas tree, but there were still gifts piled by the fireplace in the parlor. Xander had informed him already that it wasn't the tree that made the holiday, but the people one spent it with. Next year they would be all moved in and a tree would be in order. This year, they were just happy to be together and alive.

Willow woke up next and joined him in her pajamas, holding a cup of coffee.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Nearly two," he said. "Though I can't blame anyone for sleeping in."

"Yeah, that was a wacky night," Willow said, sinking into an arm chair. "Did you have fun?"

"I…" he paused. "It was nice that everyone got to blow of a little steam."

"Very diplomatic answer," she said with a smile.

"I had fun," he amended.

"Good."

They sat in silence for a while. Eventually Xander wandered out to sleep on the sofa instead of the bed and eventually Buffy wandered down too and snuggled up next to Giles. They were slow and lethargic, drinking coffee and watching the rain outside. Finally, Dawn stumbled out of bed.

"I can't believe you didn't wake me," she said, rubbing her eyes. She was still wearing her clothes from last night – her black pants and what looked like Xander's sweatshirt. Buffy socked Giles hard in the arm.

"Ouch!" he said, rubbing the spot.

"I told you," she seethed.

"Whatever, weirdos," Dawn said. "Let's open some presents." She sat down next to Xander who lifted his feet to make room for her and then plopped them back down onto Dawn's lap. This time, Giles was smart enough dodge Buffy's fist.

"Stop," he scolded. "You'll break my arm."

She crossed her arms and glared at Xander. Willow decided to get up and start doling out packages. The next couple hours were spent opening gifts and laughing at old holiday memories. No gift was too extravagant – Buffy and Giles had just bought a house, and Dawn was a poor college student, and while Xander and Willow both got paychecks from the Council, they were by no means rich.

Eventually Giles extricated himself from the pile of ribbon and wrapping to go find breakfast or, more appropriately, a late lunch. He stepped over Dawn who was sprawled on the floor with her new sweater from Buffy over her face.

"I'm never drinking again," she moaned.

"What is it with the Summers women and booze?" Xander asked. "Can't hold it."

"How would YOU know?" Buffy demanded. Giles slipped into the kitchen. Willow found him staring into the refrigerator looking befuddled.

"Find anything?" Willow asked.

"A jar of pickles," he said.

"Sweet or dill?"

"Sweet," he responded and she stuck her tongue out.

"Blergh," she said. "Let's just order something out."

"It's Christmas," he said. "Just because I can't see it doesn't mean there is no meal here."

"Well more power to you," Willow said, seating herself at the kitchen table. "So, I think I'm going leave in the morning." He turned to her with a surprised expression.

"So soon?" he asked. "The day after Christmas?"

"Why do I have to keep reminding everyone that I'm Jewish?" she laughed.

"Well…" he said. "Don't you worship the goddesses?"

"And Pagan," she said. "Whatever. Not big on the Jesus. Plus I have to be somewhere."

"Willow… I know you've come to terms with your power, but… you are being careful, aren't you?" he said.

"Yes," she said, with appropriate disgrace. "I have to go meet someone. I do have other friends, you know."

"Is it Oz?" he asked. Her face answered his question better than anything she could say.

"How did you know?" she asked. He shrugged. "We're not, well, you know, the way we were because I'm still really gay, but we're trying to be friends again."

"I think that's wonderful," Giles said, returning to his task of finding food. He discovered some tins of soup in the cupboard and dumped them into a pot. "I was always extremely fond of Oz."

"Thanks," she said. "Giles, I think we should do the spell before I go."

"The anchoring spell," he said, knowing exactly what she meant.

"Yep," she said.

"While I appreciate the option, I'm not sure Buffy and I are ready for that sort of… commitment," he said, uncomfortably.

"I think you are," Willow said.

"Perhaps," he said. "But it's not like either of us are going anywhere."

"It isn't about keeping a leash on one another," Willow chided gently. "But I don't have to tell you that."

"No," he said, stirring the soup slowly as it heated.

"You named one another," Willow said. "The hard part is done. The spell is just icing."

"I know," he said.

"If you want me to do it before I go, I'd be more than happy to," she said, standing.

"Yes, thank you," he said. Soon they were all sitting around the table eating the soup. It was boring, but warm and would tide them over until they got cleaned up enough to acquire a real meal. Buffy helped him wash the dishes – she held the dish towel waiting for Giles to hand her another wet bowl. She dried methodically and quietly.

"All right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, drying a spoon a little too vigorously. "Did Willow tell you she's leaving?"

"She did," he admitted. "It's been nice to have her around again."

"Yeah."

"Is there something else?" he prodded. She stared at him looking like she wanted to say something but she didn't know how to say it. "Buffy, you know you can tell me anything," he reminded her.

"Giles, I want to do the spell," she blurted.

"Ah," he said, resuming his scrubbing.

"I know you have reservations but… I want it. I want you."

"Of course," he said, leaning and kissing her lightly. "We'll do it tonight."

"That's it?" she asked, surprised. "No more convincing?"

"I'd give you the world if I knew how," he reminded her. "I'm flattered you want this so badly."

"Well, good," she said. "I do."

oooo

The permanent anchor spell was similar to the one they'd shared in Scotland but not quite the same. Willow had given them a full disclaimer that things would be deeper, intimate, and much more meaningful but Buffy had assured everyone that she'd wanted it and Giles wanted what Buffy wanted. So they'd performed the spell and the tether was back. Giles could feel Buffy and Buffy could feel Giles and everyone went to bed just as the night before.

But it wasn't the same, not exactly.

Their room was dark and they were in bed. Buffy held her hand above her head and poked at her tattoo. Giles was next to her, sleeping. He'd participated in the spell and it had drained him. His face was pressed into his pillow. She poked her tattoo again. She could feel Giles next to her both physically and magically. It was an odd sensation, but a comfortable one.

"Stop it," Giles said, rolling over to face her.

"What?" she asked.

"I can feel you prodding," he said. "Go to sleep. We have our whole lives to figure out how this works."

"I'm not tired," she said. "I think maybe I'll go patrol."

"Alone?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes alone. I patrolled alone for years and I did it on a hellmouth. Don't think just because you're having sex with me..."

"Fine," he said, rolling back over. "Goodbye."

She dressed in the dark and rummaged around the trunk at the foot of the bed for a weapon. She slipped a couple of stakes in her pocket. She wished she could take a sword but walking around London with a sword wasn't easy. She was always stopped by law enforcement and how often could she use 'it's a gift for my boyfriend' for an excuse? She opened the door quietly.

"It's not just sex to me, you know," Giles said.

"I know," she said. "Me either."

"Come back to me unharmed."

"Will do," she said and left him alone in the bedroom.

It was bitterly cold outside. Too cold for Buffy anyway. She could stand it, of course, because she was a Slayer but she was also a thin-blooded Californian and so she set her jaw against the biting air and started making her rounds. She stayed in the neighborhood at first – it was a decent neighborhood but she occasionally ran into a Burberry clad vampire in her parts.

Not tonight, she realized. It was, after all, Christmas night. Vampires tended to stay dormant on most major holidays. She moved out of their neighborhood and toward a more seedier area but the farther away from Giles she got, the more she wanted to return to him. It wasn't that she missed him, exactly, but that she knew that being far away from him was just… it was wrong somehow.

It was slow, so she started back.

Giles was awake when she crept back into the bedroom. He was reading a book by the light of a soft lamp.

"Hey," she said.

"I couldn't sleep while you were gone," he admitted. "In fact, all I wanted to do was go out and find you."

"I felt you tugging," she said. "Before, I could feel the connection but… now it's like, very, very adamant. Stay close, it says."

"Perhaps your patrolling days are behind you," Giles said softly.

"What?" she exclaimed. "Perhaps you'll just have to come."

"I mean, there are plenty of girls to do nightly patrols. You're in charge of them all now. You must learn to delegate," he said. "You changed the world, darling. You're going to have to change along with it."

"This is way too much for my brain at four am," she said. "Can we just go back to sleep?"

"We could," Giles said, setting is book aside. "Though aren't you curious as to what else this connection can do?" He smiled a very suggestive smile.

"Oh," she said. "Okay!"

oooo

Their first big argument as a couple was over Dawn's graduation.

"Buffy we cannot both go to California. One of us needs to stay here," Giles said for what felt like the hundredth time. "You go and I'll stay and it will be fine."

"Fine?" she asked. "Setting aside the fact that Dawn will be crushed if you miss her graduation, if you don't go, I can't go."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said.

"Giles, I can hardly go across town without you. I can't go to America without you!"

"I know it will be uncomfortable, that sort of separation, but for this we must simply grin and bear it," he assured her.

"You're coming with me," she said, crossing her arms and giving their connection a good tug to prove her point. She saw his balance waver for a moment – when she pulled hard enough, she could topple him.

"So that the council is left defenseless?" he asked. "Is that what you want?"

"Twenty Slayers live here at any given time, not to mention their Watchers, Watchers-in-Training, security personnel, and the coven in Devon!" she said. "Giles, you can leave London for a week. The world won't end."

"Please, I've asked you not to joke about that," he said, rubbing his face.

"It's not a joke," she said. "Call in Xander or Robin or Faith."

"I'm just not sure," he said, and she knew he was showing signs of relenting.

"You're the one who taught me that being a Slayer doesn't mean I have to give up my life," she said, touching his arm. The contact filled him with a warm, traitorous buzz. "The same goes for you. Dawn wants us there. We're her family."

"I wish we hadn't sent Portia to Rome," he said. "I'd be most comfortable with her."

"What if we call in Faith," Buffy said. "You can put whatever Watcher you want in charge. Maybe Philips or Richardson? We won't leave any loose ends."

"All right," he said, feeling not at all confident in her decision.

"Thank you," Buffy said, kissing him lightly.

So they bought the tickets and Faith flew in from her new station in Sydney for the week. Buffy picked her up and though their relationship was better, it was still a little strained.

"Thank you," Buffy said again, and Faith rolled her eyes.

"B, seriously, it's not a favor, it's a duty," Faith said. "You think I wanted to leave Australia to come to Tweed central?"

"I know," Buffy said. Faith was tanned and strong. The hellmouth in Sydney was more active now than ever and Buffy was always sending girls down to her. "Giles is worried about leaving."

"No big," Faith said.

"Five by five?" Buffy asked with a small smile.

"You know it," Faith said and with the tension broken, Buffy felt more confident about their trip to California than ever.

oooo

Giles was nervous getting onto the airplane and his nerves washed over Buffy in big, crashing waves. It made her jittery – she dropped her ticket and her phone in the narrow aisle and caused a small commotion pausing to fish them out from under a tiny seat.

"Buffy," Giles snapped and she gathered her things and sprinted back to her place in line.

"Sorry," she said. "You're making me all…" She waved her hands and sent her phone flying again. The man behind her groaned and Giles whipped his glasses off for a cleaning the likes of which she hadn't seen since Sunnydale. She fetched the phone again and put it in her pocket quickly. Finally they found their seats. She offered him the window and he accepted. She would be stuck in the middle seat with a stranger on the other side for hours and hours. She hated flying.

"I hate flying," she said, shoving her bag under the seat in front of her and collapsing into the tiny seat dramatically.

"Welcome to the world," Giles said, so grumpily that Buffy huffed a little and turned her face away from him. She understood he was reluctant to leave the Council but everything had been all arranged and it would be fine. It had to be. They had to stop living their entire lives like it was one big crisis after another. Feeling a little sorry for him, she turned her face back and patted his knee which was cramped into the tiny space provided for him.

"How long is the flight again?" she asked. She was just trying to make conversation but he sighed and looked at her like he wanted to throttle her – like she was his Slayer on the hellmouth once more and had blown off patrol to go to the Bronze with a boy he'd never even met. In reality, she was not that Buffy. She didn't even look like that Buffy anymore – she'd died her hair a dark brown last month and it had changed her dramatically. Giles liked it – it suited her, and it made her harder to recognize for those who wanted to kill the last original Slayer, but it still startled him sometimes. Buffy was a woman now, his love, and not a sixteen year old girl, begging him not to send her to her death. "Sorry," she said now.

"Several hours," Giles said. "It will just make you crazy to dwell on the amount of time." Giles knew that a Slayer, especially Buffy, could not sit still for very long. In his pocket he had a sleeping pill for her; it was the only way they would both get through this. She was quiet through the take-off. A middle aged woman had sat next to her and she seemed relieved by this non-threatening entity. The woman had put on her headphones and closed her eyes almost immediately. It would be morning when they landed in California.

When they were in the air, Buffy slipped her hand into his. She squeezed it and he squeezed back.

"This is the first time I'm flying to California when I'm not flying back to you," he said, finally.

"I'm with you," she assured him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," he said, kissing her forehead.

"Was it scary? Flying to Sunnydale for the first time? Not knowing anything about me?" she asked.

"Very," he said. "And yet, it was my job. My calling."

"What if I had turned out to be like… I don't know, different?" she asked.

"You were different," he assured her with a chuckle. "Not at all what I was expecting."

"I wasn't exactly embracing my destiny," Buffy admitted. "But that was before I knew you were such a hunk of burning man love." He smiled, blushing lightly. Even though he knew she was poking fun at him, he also knew she was being honest.

"Don't you miss California?" Giles asked. "It is your home, after all."

"Did you miss England?" she asked, sitting up straight. The flight attendants were beginning to move through the aisles with their bulky carts offering beverages. Buffy would get a soda and Giles would get a tiny bottle of whiskey.

"I missed England a great deal," Giles said.

"I guess I miss parts of California," Buffy said thoughtfully. "The beach. The warm weather and constant sunshine. The fashion." She shrugged. "But it isn't my home. Not anymore. And I don't know if you remember, but California wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs for me."

"I remember," he said. Their conversation paused for their drink order and then a crackling announcement from the captain about altitude and flight times. "Why do you think Dawn wanted to go back?"

"Besides UC Berkeley?" Buffy asked.

"There are other Universities that offered the program she wanted," he pointed out.

"I think she was tired of following us around," Buffy said. "It was hard to let her go but now we're getting her back."

"Buffy, while we're there, would you like to… I know you haven't been back to… What I mean to say is…" he shifted in his seat, searching for the right words.

"Do I want to go see the crater?" she asked. He nodded in relief.

"I'll drive you, if you'd like."

"I don't know," she said. Their drinks arrived and Buffy sipped at her Diet Coke. "I know that my mom is down there somewhere but when I left it behind I swore to myself I'd never go back."

"You did?" he asked.

"Are you really surprised?" she asked.

"It was your home," he said again.

"You're my home," she assured him with a poke in his chest. "You always have been. Ever since I met you. The library and then your flat and then the Magic Box and now this tiny seat in this airplane in the sky."

"Thank you," he said, softly. She put her head back on his shoulder.

After their meal, she began to squirm and took her pill dutifully.

oooo

"Welcome to Oakland International Airport. This is a non-smoking terminal."

Buffy was still a little groggy as they made their way to the baggage claim. She held on to his elbow, a little unsteady on her feet.

"What did you give me, horse tranquilizer?" she asked.

"You're the Slayer," he said. "Nyquil wasn't going to cut it."

"I can't feel my arms," she said, clutching him more tightly and then loosening her grip when he hissed.

"You're fine," Giles assured her. "Let's just go get our bags and rent the car."

"I want to see Dawn," Buffy said.

"Dawn is taking her last final," Giles reminded her. "We're going to check into the motel and rest for a while."

"I'm tired of resting," Buffy said, stumbling onto the moving sidewalk. Giles leaned tiredly against rail as it moved them forward. They slugged their way through customs before he continued their conversation.

"You said you can't feel your arms, Buffy. I don't think lying down is asking too much," he said, sitting her down in a chair near the baggage claim. "I'm going to go get the car. If you see our luggage, try to grab it?"

"I always have to do all the heavy lifting," she muttered and he rolled his eyes and went to queue for a rental car. She watched the bags begin to circle and fall and when Giles' suitcase appeared, she wove through the crowd to grab it. She hefted it too hard, though, and nearly toppled the man standing behind her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she said, wincing.

"It's okay," he said, rubbing his arm. "Guess you're stronger than you look."

"You'd be surprised," Buffy muttered. The man smiled and stuck out his hand.

"I'm Chad," he said.

"Buffy," she said, taking his hand politely.

"I have to admit," he said. "I saw you on the plane."

"Oh," Buffy said, keeping one eye on the rotating carousel and another on Giles gesturing wildly to the man behind the rental counter. Why did he always have to argue about price? It was a weird Giles thing, his taste in cars.

"Yeah. I may be a little forward to say this, but you were the sweetest thing I've ever seen, sleeping against your father's shoulder," Chad said, wistfully. "It's hard to find a woman these days who still cares about family."

"Um," Buffy said, scratching her head. Luckily, Giles came up behind her.

"Where is your case, darling?" he asked.

"Still waiting," she said.

"Hi," Chad said, sticking his hand out for Giles to shake. Giles glanced at Buffy but shook his hand.

"I was just telling Buffy here what a sweet girl you've raised," Chad said.

"Ah," said Giles, confusedly.

"I tried to kill him with your suitcase," Buffy explained.

"She's stronger than she seems," Chad said.

"You'd be surprised," Giles murmured and Buffy yelped as she grabbed her suitcase before it rolled by again. "Is that everything, love?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "Well, it was nice to meet you Chad."

"Here's my card," he said, handing it to Buffy. Buffy took it and Giles glared at him as they walked away.

"Pillock," Giles grumbled. She felt the prickle or irritation from him clearly.

"He was harmless," Buffy said, laughing.

"He thought I was your father," Giles said.

"Should I go back and explain to him the difference between Daddy and Sugar Daddy?" she asked, looking over her shoulder.

"You bloody well better not," Giles said. Buffy took his hand as they walked out into the California sunshine.

oooo

Buffy was asleep when Dawn called later that evening. She woke up groggily, through a jet-lagged haze. She could hear the shower, feel the thrumming of warm contentment from Giles, and could hear him singing through the thin motel wall.

"Hello?" Buffy said, the plastic motel phone cold against her ear.

"Buffy! It's me," Dawn said. "You're in my country!"

"Yep," she said, sitting up. "Where are you?"

"At my house," she said. Dawn lived in an old house with two Slayers and their Watcher. It was part of the agreement made when Buffy let Dawn move to another country without her. The Bay Area was teeming with the undead – most places that had wealth and poverty in such close quarters drew the vampires and with the Hellmouth closed, it seemed only natural that the evil population might migrate north. Mr. Griffin, the Watcher, assured Buffy that Dawn never went on patrol. "I thought we might get dinner."

"Yeah," Buffy said. "Giles is in the shower but we'll come over when he's done."

"You're sleeping with the man, you can't call him Rupert?" Dawn asked.

"Ew, no," Buffy said. "I really can't."

"Okay, well, I'll see you in a bit," Dawn said, and hung up. Buffy replaced the phone in its cradle and got out of the bed. She brushed her teeth and was standing in front of her suitcase in her underwear when Giles came out of the bathroom, filling the room with steam and warmth.

"Did Dawn call?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "She wants us to come over."

"Is that what you're wearing?" he asked.

"Yep," she said. "It's a little more conservative than what you're wearing but I think it works for me."

"Sassy," he said.

oooo

Dawn's graduation was long and tedious like graduations all were. Buffy and Giles sat on their hard seats with the sea of parents and clapped loudly when Dawn's name was called. Then, they bogged through receptions and pictures and teary goodbyes. Finally, Dawn slid into the backseat of the rental car and Giles drove them back to her house. She had to pack, after all. Dawn was coming home to London to begin her Watcher's training.

Mr. Griffin was the only one home when they arrived. Dawn's graduation took place on a Thursday and it wasn't very late in the day yet. One of the Slayers was still in high school and the other had a job of some sort, though Buffy couldn't remember what it was. Something with computers, she thought.

"Congratulations, Dawn," Mr. Griffin said, handing her an envelope. Dawn hugged him. "We'll miss having you here."

"I'll miss you, too," Dawn said. Mr. Griffin was a younger Watcher, much like how Giles was when he first arrived in Sunnydale. Buffy could see that Mr. Griffin was still adapting to life stateside. At least he wasn't living on a hellmouth.

"Go get ready," Buffy said, and Dawn went to her room. She would leave most of her things in California – her bed and other furniture. Anything too big for the flight back would stay. Having a spare bed was always good for Slayers – perhaps Giles would send another Slayer to Berkeley now that the house could accommodate her.

"Send Zhanna," Buffy said. "She's done with her training and I'm sick of her."

"Are you reading my mind?" Giles asked, startling Mr. Griffin who'd just arrived with tea.

"Not on purpose," Buffy said. "Sometimes you send me your thoughts."

"Would you care for cream?" Mr. Griffin asked nervously. He was always nervous with Buffy and Giles. They were, after all, his bosses. Upon sending Dawn to Berkeley, Giles had assured her that Griffin was a good Watcher, an experienced one who would care deeply for his Slayers and take good care of Dawn.

"No," Giles said. "Thank you."

"And anyway," Buffy said, picking up their conversation. "No one wants to be her partner so she won't mind being the third wheel."

"I suppose," Giles said.

"Tell me Mr. Griffin," Buffy said. "Do you speak Russian?"

"Of-of course," he stammered, wondering what the hell Buffy was talking about. Griffin missed the days when the ratio of Watchers to Slayers or Potentials was one to one. He tried to be fair and even handed with his Slayers, but it wasn't the same as devoting ones self to one girl. He would never have the relationship, the closeness or intimacy with his Slayers that he was witnessing now.

"We're considering sending you another Slayer," Giles said. Griffin smiled as his shoulders sagged slightly.

"How wonderful," he said. "Will another Watcher be accompanying her?"

"I'm afraid that's out of the question," Giles said, softly. He understood. "We're rather tapped out at the moment." Over half of the trained Watchers had died in the explosion. What remained were the Watchers-in-training, mostly. Giles had coaxed several retired Watchers back into the field to teach but as for Watchers up to field work… numbers were thin. Giles had even given Andrew a Slayer in London, though Giles checked up on him often.

"I see," said Griffin.

"I understand," Giles said softly. "In time, things, I hope, will even out."

The next several days were spent packing up Dawn's things. Giles spent a majority of time with Griffin and his slayers leading training techniques and going over Griffin's library. In the early days of rebuilding the council, Willow had spent a great deal of time uploading information onto a website for the council. Now, no matter where a Slayer was in the world, they had access to a great deal of information. Research in front of the computer screen instead of over books. Mr. Bradley had at least two assistants who spent their days going through the library, book by book, and uploading information.

And if the information wasn't there, they could always call the Council. That was one of Buffy's early demands – that no Slayer should fear the Council. So far, so good, Giles thought. And, in a couple weeks, Buffy's updated handbook would be back from the publisher and would be sent around the world.

Two nights before their flight back to London, Buffy and Giles were laying in bed. Neither could sleep – Giles was restless and Buffy was awake, waiting for him to tell her whatever he was keeping from her.

"Look," Buffy said finally. "Either tell me or kill me because I need some sleep."

"Can I at least pretend to not know what you're talking about first?" he asked.

"What happened to being honest with Buffy?" she whined.

"Okay, okay," he said. "I made our return flight out of LAX."

"What?" she asked. "That's like, a six hour drive from here!"

"I know," he said.

"You clearly have never been on a road trip with Dawn," she said.

"Are you angry?" he asked.

"No," she said. "Well… why? Why the hell would you do that?"

He didn't say anything. He waited, laying very still.

"Oh," she said.

"Yes," he replied.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," she said.

"I think it's something you need to do," Giles said. "Consider it my last act of training you as your Watcher."

"You're not going to be my Watcher anymore?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'll always be your Watcher, darling, but you don't need me to train you any longer," he said.

"You think I need closure?" she said.

"It can't hurt," he said.

"Famous last words," she scoffed.

oooo

Giles wasn't sure how he ended up in the cramped back seat, but somehow, that wasn't even the worst part. Listening to Buffy and Dawn sing loudly to radio wasn't even the worst part.

Dawn behind the wheel was, by far, the worst part.

"Don't you think 95 is a little fast?" Giles said loudly.

"No cops on the 5, Giles," Dawn said.

"That's not actually true," Giles yelled. Dawn didn't slow down. He tapped Buffy's shoulder and gave her begging look.

"We have the best excuse ever," Buffy explained. "Cop pulls us over and we explain that we're going to visit the giant hole in the ground that used to be our lives. Who'd give us a ticket after that?"

"Go ahead, tempt fate," he muttered leaning back and closing his eyes. Despite the break-neck speeds, it was nice to listen to Buffy and Dawn together. Dawn would be a valuable asset to the Watcher community and Buffy would be happier having her near. Now, in the backseat, with the sun warm on his face, Giles did the impossible and drifted off to sleep.

"He's tired," Buffy said, seeing Giles' slumped form in the wing mirror. "He won't say it to me, but I can feel it."

"You and Giles are like the Borg," Dawn said and then made a face. "I've got to stop texting Andrew."

"You know you don't have to come back to London," Buffy said.

"I know," Dawn replied evenly. "I want to. You and Giles are my family. I don't like being so far."

"When did you grow up?" Buffy asked affectionately.

"I think somewhere between leaving the country and my first keg stand," Dawn said.

"And the moment is gone," Buffy said.

oooo

The road now curved several miles away from the crater so they had to park at the detour signs and walk almost two miles to get to the site that was once Sunnydale. For Buffy, this was no sweat. She'd run back and forth across Sunnydale more times than she could count. Dawn and Giles walked gamely forward through the spring desert heat. Even Buffy was warm – she was used to walking during the night.

Finally, Dawn spotted the blockades that surrounded the perimeter.

"We're almost there," she said. "It's not far past the barriers."

"Those barriers are there for our safety," Giles pointed out.

"If Sunnydale hasn't killed me yet, it's not going to," Buffy said with no trace of humor in her voice. Giles was beginning to regret forcing Buffy to return to this place. The happy feelings she had in the car were evaporating quickly though she was doing a fairly good job of shielding him from what she was feeling instead. It took a lot of power to block the anchor spell and he could see the strain. Why was she using so much energy to block him? She'd never done that before.

"Darling," he said, touching her arm but she shrugged him off and picked up her pace. Dawn sent Giles a worried expression as Buffy leaped easily over the barrier. Giles only shook his head. The only thing he could do in a situation like this was let Buffy do what she needed to.

By the time they caught up with Buffy, she was standing right at the edge of the barrier – much closer than Giles was comfortable with.

"Buffy?" Dawn said.

At the sound of her sister's voice, Buffy lost her tenuous hold on her control. Her emotions were unleashed and a flood of anger, bitterness, and grief crashed into Giles. It was so overwhelming that he cried out and collapsed down onto the dirt with his hands over his head. It was horrible and he buried his chin into his chest waiting for it to pass.

When he found his bearings and opened his eyes, both Buffy and Dawn were crouched down in front of him.

"And… that's why… we don't do… that," he said, allowing the girls to pull him to his feet.

"Sorry," she said. "I… this place…"

"We don't have to stay," he said. "I was wrong to force you."

"I want to take a walk," she said. "Alone."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Dawn said, quickly. "This place… it messes with your head."

"She's right," Giles said. "I'm not comfortable with you going off on your own."

"I'll be fine," Buffy promised. "Beside, we're attached. If there's a problem, you'll know."

Giles had no logical argument to that so he shrugged and she kissed him.

"Don't be gone long," he said. She nodded and started walking away. Giles felt Dawn slip her hand into his and he gave her squeeze. "She'll be fine."

"I guess," Dawn said. They stood and watched until she was just a speck against the sky.

Eventually, Giles and Dawn waited out her return by sitting on one of the barriers and sharing the water bottle Dawn had the foresight to bring in her purse. Dawn banged her heels against the particle-board.

"I know I have a room at your house, but I don't want to cramp your style," Dawn said. "I can get my own place, if you want."

"Nonsense," Giles said. "I wouldn't allow it."

"Sorry, dad," Dawn said sarcastically, but she bumped her shoulder into his to show she was pleased. "Now, tell me about this spell."

"Uh," said Giles.

"The clean parts," she amended hastily.

"What would you like to know?" he asked.

"Willow said that you guys can feel each other's feelings. Is that what that was back there?" she asked.

"She was trying to hide her feelings from me," Giles said.

"Taking a page from your book, I see," Dawn said.

"Ha, ha," he snapped.

"But you like being all attached?" Dawn asked.

"Yes," he said. "It's taken some adjustment, but… I love your sister and now I know for certain that she loves me back."

"Duh," said Dawn, smacking him lightly. "You didn't need a spell to know that. She named you."

"Willow said the same thing," Giles said. "Named me. What do you mean by that?"

"Willow told me that the most important thing you can do for another person is acknowledge them by name," Dawn explained. "It… oh, I don't know. It validates their place in the universe. It makes them real and important and true. When I was having my wacky key identity crisis, Willow told me that no matter who I was before, now I am Dawn Summers. She named me."

"I see," Giles said. Dawn took his hand and tapped on Buffy's name lightly.

"She put your name on her body. Not only did she acknowledge you as Rupert Giles, but she marked herself permanently with your moniker." Dawn let go of his hand. "You didn't need a spell to attach you to one another."

Giles stared at her for a moment before putting his arm around her shoulder.

"You'll make a fine Watcher," he said.

Dawn smiled.

oooo

Two hours later, Giles stood up.

"Something's wrong," he said. Dawn looked up from the game of Tetris she was playing on her mobile and squinted into the sun.

"What?"

"I think…" Giles closed his eyes. "I think she's trying to go into the crater."

"What?" Dawn said, scrambling to her feet. "Why is she so stupid?"

"I can feel her getting farther away… getting deeper," he said.

"Well, yank her back," Dawn said. "Use your magic to pull her dumb ass out of there."

"She's stronger than me," Giles said.

"Just do it," Dawn said impatiently. "At least she'll know that we want her back."

"Right," Giles said. "Okay. I need to concentrate."

He closed his eyes and gave the strongest mental yank he could muster. He opened his eyes.

"Oh shit," Dawn said and jumped in front of Giles. Buffy was flying through the air. Giles had yanked so hard that she had lost her footing and was now coming toward them so fast that no part of her was touching the ground. When she hit, she hit Dawn, who hit Giles. They all tumbled roughly to the ground.

"Ow," said Dawn. "Ow."

"Get off," Giles begged, trying to catch his breath. "For the love of…"

"Ugh," said Buffy, the first to recover her footing. She stood up and brushed herself off. It took her a moment to understand what happened. Of course, not that long.

"What the fuck was that?" she asked, loudly, startling Dawn who had been trying to stand. Instead, she fell back down on Giles who grunted in pain.

"What about you?" wheezed Dawn. "Going in that hole."

"I thought I heard something," Buffy said.

"Oh yes, going toward the sound was the best course," Giles said.

"Buffy, nothing alive down there is of the good," Dawn said.

"Then it's my job to kill it," Buffy said.

"No," said Dawn. "It's someone else's job. You need to learn to delegate."

"Can we go back now?" Giles asked, still from the ground.

"Oh!" Buffy exclaimed and helped him up. "Sorry to smash into you."

"Why did you get in the way?" Giles asked Dawn as they all began to limp back to the car.

"Because you're old," Dawn said. "I thought she might kill you."

"Hey, we don't talk about how old my boyfriend is," Buffy said. "Just because it's Giles doesn't make that rule go away."

"That's it," Giles said over the sound of their giggles. "I'm jumping in the hole."

oooo

Dawn sat by the window on the flight back. She was asleep against Buffy's shoulder and Buffy was asleep against his. The flight attendant came by to pour him more tea.

"You have a lovely family," she whispered, with a smile.

"Thank you," Giles said. "I do."


End file.
